Thursday, April 3, 2008

Breaking News: IOC changes name to BBC

by our staff reporter

New Delhi, April 3

The Indian Olympic Committee has changed it's name to the Beijing's Bitches Committee . The president of the committee, Mr. Chu Tiya has said that this rightly reflects the allegiance of the organization formerly known as IOC. "China's Chairman is our Chairman" said the president, echoing the slogan the Indian left parties have been using since 1962.
He said that after all that CHina had done for them, this is the least they could do. "This name change was not due to the the threat by Beijing that if we don't change the name, they will not let the Olympic torch come to India. We had planned to do it ages ago, but we looking for the right time and opportunity." He also said that other names were considered but this was the one unanimously chosen by the committee's board of directors. The other choices were, NBA (No Balls Academy), CGUO (China Gives Us an Orgasm), BBC (Beijing's Basted Children). He also made an announcement that Baichang Bhutia would be banned from all future events hosted by the former IOC. "What he did amounts to treason".

The left parties have praised this decision and called the BBC a pioneer. "This should have been done years ago", said Hitaram Yechury. "As soon as we accept China's supremacy over the rest of the world, the better", he exclaimed. He added that this is just a first step in their dream of one Chinindia, from Shanghai to Saharanpur, from Hong Kong to Hubli. He also said that we should also make Chicken Manchurian our national dish.

The external affairs minister, Mr Pranab Mukrlee, said that he would move a bill in parliament which would put lead in children's toys and pet food to show solidarity with China. "Just because a few thousand pets died and millions of infants were poisoned by Chinese made pet food and toys, does not give the big capitalist devil, the United States the right to ban imports from China. This is all a big conspiracy against the harmless peace loving dragon ", he said fuming with anger and frothing from the mouth.

The Chinese ambassador to India, Mr Hung Ho, said that India is doing all the right things. "However, we still don't give a fuck", he added.

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