Sunday, March 2, 2008

Blogging, Indian Culture and that damn Julia Roberts

So I was watching an NDTV program called "We the people" where the topic of discussion was well, strangely blogs. Now, most of the non-bloggers there appeared to have no knowledge about blogging. The quotes from such people were horrendous. However, one thing that really hit me was this constant use of the words "Indian Culture". Nothing gets me more riled up than the use of these words, I agree. But tell me why does this have to pop up in everything that we do? Does a simple thing like blogging have to pass through the litmus test of Indian culture? I was reading a few comments that were sent by some people through SMS to the TV station and a lot of them were based around the same theme of blogging on being based on Indian culture. It's just so preposterous that everything is seen as a threat to Indian culture. It's not only blogging. All kinds of media, music, movies even the internet is seen as against Indian culture.

OOHHHH ... Rock Music ... against Indian culture, English/Spanish/Belgian movies, against Indian culture, the Oscars, against Indian culture. What's this obsession we have about Indian culture? Do we even know what Indian culture is? Do these self-imposed guardians of Indian culture even realize how our culture came about and what our culture is?
By just following some hypocritical Victorian values do we confirm ourselves to be the true followers of Indian culture?

I mean look at what the religious right does on valentines day? No, No, No, alien culture. Corrupts the minds of our Indian children. Not that I like valentines day, but how can the expression of love be against Indian culture? Two people who love each other, just want to share a few cards, flowers and some chocolate. Are they percolating through some imaginary door that they are not supposed to?

According to such intelligent guardians of Indian culture, children are not supposed to choose who they marry or love because well they don't know but a group of middle aged, pot bellied people (called parents), who are out of touch with the realities of the real world, who don't give a rat's ass about what the children are looking for in a mate, can decide who they spend the rest of their life with. It doesn't matter that they two people spend the rest of their lives bickering and unhappy, but NO, NO, choosing a mate is against Indian culture.

What makes one think that parents know what is best for the child? Indian children are taught from the day they are born that they are the exclusive property of their parents/grandparents/uncles/chachas/mamas etc. etc. They have to respect them because they are elder, they have to obey them because they are older to them in their age, they even have to touch older people's feet. Why? Because it is our culture? Indian children are supposed to study what their parents think is appropriate, work where their parents think is best for them, get married to a person whom their parents think is perfect for them and have children when thier parents start yearning for grandchildren. Any deviation from this plan is considered a violation of our sacred Indian culture. Ohhhhh ... You married outside your caste ....... you bought shame to our family ... Ohhhhh .. you have a boyfriend ...... nice girls don't think about love, nice girls think about chappatis and kids and knitting woolen clothes. Speaking up against injustice is considered a violation of Indian culture.

Our culture reeks of oppression, submission and unhappiness. It is no wonder that most of our nation is unhappy. The parents are unhappy because their parents did not let them do what they wanted to and their children not listen to them.

The reason given for this unhappiness by our priests and politicians is the influence of the west. It's that damn Julia Roberts. Putting such bad bad thoughts into our children's sacred head. Bad Bad thoughts about love, bad bad thoughts about happiness, of seeking your aim in life. Teaching our children that there is a world beyond marriages, relatives, society, neighbors, relatives, in-laws. Damn you Julia Roberts and our whole democratic party voting Hollywood. Damn you. You teach our little girls about freedom. You will rot in hell.

You self righteous westerners telling us about human rights and toilet paper. You think you scare us with your nuclear weapons. Look at us. You hit us we will destroy Bangladesh and Pakistan. look at our might. We can now hit a moving chilli-chicken thela in Shenzen. Keep your breast baring Halle Barry. In India, women are not supposed to have breasts. Even if they do, they should be well hidden from leering eyes. They should not be even shown to a woman's husbands. They are evil. The twin towers of evil, if you must. Indian women do not have any breasts. Period. And they also do not have any periods. Indian women are devoid of periods. All this educative talk of "cloth is for curtains" is against our Indian culture. Damn you Hollywood. You with your rap musicans. Those bloody rappers. Against our culture. Puting bad bad thoughts about bitches and ho-es in the heads of our children. We do not have ho-es in our country. And is that what you do to bitches you perverts. You Americans. Stop spreading your poison.

So can we not talk about Indian culture at the drop of a hat. If our Indian culture is so weak, then how come that damn Julia Roberts can break it so easily?

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