Wednesday, April 1, 2009

World leaders hold summit to formally blame George Bush for the current economic crisis

The heads of government of the (technically mathematically inaccurately) named Group of 20, aka G-20, are scheduled to meet in London, starting tomorrow, to try find a way out of the current global clusterfuck. On the agenda are possible solutions for the economic crisis, discussion of a possibility of a global stimulus package and some juicy gossip about German Chancellor Angela Merkel's love life.

A banquet was held by the Queen today to formally welcome all the heads of state.

"Basically we are all here to convince the world that the current economic crisis is George Bush's fault. I blame Bush for everything." said Russian President Dmirty Medvedev. "Even when my children catch a cold. Or when Putin gets drunk, puts on a dress and starts singing I will survive in Russian. Oh, Lenin. I really shouldn't have said anything. I am so dead." He then
was seen getting down on his knees and making a phone call.


The facade of camaraderie was absent the summit this time around. French President Nicolas Sarkozy threatened to walk out when he saw that the Italian Prime Minister was continuously eyeing his wife. "Hey Berlusconi, stop lookeeeng at my wife or I weeel break youur arms." He then chased the Italian Prime minister through the lush green Buckingham Palace gardens all the while shouting, what one can only hope, nice things about Mr Berlusconi's mother. Both of them were then stopped by current US President and part-time Messiah, Barack Obama and given a sermon about how "Thou shall not covet your neighbors wife". "It's the same sermon I gave to Bill Clinton last week", Mr Obama told reports later on.

Meanwhile Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh was spotted sipping some Gaterorade and playing chess with the Chinese President. "Madam told me not to say too much. It's good advice, I tell you. Very good advice. I usually bite off more than I can chew. Just yesterday, I had some butter chicken and I still feel a little gassy. Well, what can you do. Old age is old age. ha. hA. HA". When Mr Singh got up to refill his glass, the Chinese President repositioned the pawns on the chessboard to his advantage. No one knows if Mr Singh noticed the change when he came back.

The Argentinian President Ms. Cristina Kirchner, was in heated discussions with British Prime Minister Gordon Brown about who is a better football player, Lionel Messi or David Beckham. After hours of going back and fourth, the only thing both of them agreed upon was that Victoria Beckham has the aura of a slut.

Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper was seen feeling left out, sipping his mojito alone, which brought back memories of his own senior prom. He spoke to us with a heavy heart while trying to hold back the tears in his eyes. "It's hard sometimes, you know. We barely get noticed. People only call on us when they want us to watch their kids or to attend a funeral. It's just not fair. Why does everyone do that? Is it because we're a little gay?"

11 comments:

Stray said...

{A big thumbs up}

But it is apparent, tho, that u cant play chess if your life depended on it!

Tazeen said...

even I agree with gorden brown and Kirchner, Mrs. Backham does have the aura of a slut, a very expensive sulking slut but slut nonetheless.

Strange how you are I both decide to write on G20 and approximately about the same day and time

ess said...

Part-time messiah? Only part-time?

Somehow, I don't think Bill was really listening to the sermon.

And please, the best thing you could come up with for Manmohan is an old age/toilet joke?

araYan said...

on most bloggers' posts...we can just quote a good line from the post, write, "that was the icing on the cake"...and walk off feeling nice.

and then this blog comes by. bluddy, there's no line that i can choose...all are so friggin' awesome.. [:O]

ps.the canadian thing in the end...well,
that was the icing on the cake.

cheers!

Sia said...

:D

you should go public. or print. or go live.

Rakesh said...

he he, agree with Gordon brown, Kirchner and Tazeen - a very attractive slut :)

And I'm sure Manmohan wouldn't have noticed, he doesn't even notice when Sonia steals his speech...

Rakesh said...

he he, :-D rotfl @ ur reply... Daler Mehndi... lol

Over Rated said...

@Stray: Thanks ... Well, I know a guy who plays well? does that count?

@Tazeen: Yeah, well considering it was a slow news day. Well, I think that opinion about Mrs. Becks seems to be very popular.

@Ess: Actually, it should have been part-time President and full time messiah. Yeah, Bill was paying attention to the blond on the next table.

Well, to be fair, it's actually pre-toilet humor. Is that better?

@Aryan: Thank you .. You're too kind ... :P ...

@Sia: hey .. you're back .... Well, i think the general public won't like what I write ... :D ..

@Rakesh: Well, actually that's not his fault. Even he doesn't listen to his own speeches. And when Sonia speaks, he's basically singing Daler Mehndi songs in his head.

Over Rated said...

@Rakesh: Sorry about that .. Major snafu with blog id's .... had to repost my reply .... :D ....

Indian John Doe said...

LOLzz...at everything...and loved your comment on Manmohan Singh :)

Over Rated said...

@IJD: :D ... Lol .. It is true thou ...

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