Wednesday, May 13, 2009

If you don't agree with what Dick Cheney says, he will fucking shoot you in your fucking face

The world's scariest politician and pseudo-human, former Vice President Dick Cheney, continues his "Since you voted for the Muslim terrorist you're all going to die" media tour.

In an interview on Tuesday he said that

. . . We successfully defended the nation for seven-and-a-half years against a follow-on attack to 9/11,” he said. “That was a remarkable achievement. Nobody would have thought that was possible, but it was. I believe it was possible because of the policies we had in place, which they're now dismantling.

Lets examine how exactly did cyborg Cheney and his Dick army keep America safe:

a) By torturing people who had nothing to do with 9/11
b) By invading a country which had nothing to do with 9/11
c) By supporting a dictator under whose reign a possibility of another 9/11 increases
d) By outing a CIA agent (to settle a personal score with her husband) who was investigating a country which had actual WMD's hence indirectly contributing to the possibility of another 9/11 type attack [click here]
e) Using the Iraq war to benefit his personal fortune as well as all his sugar-daddies [click here & here]

Of course, in Dick Cheney's world, waterboarding is not torture, it's a simply an "enhanced interrogation technique". Just like instead of calling Dick Cheney an asshole, one can simply refer to him as an "instrument of spreading regurgitated crap". [click here]

When asked whether he listens to critics who accuse him of being, well, a dick, he said that:

Cheney also dismissed criticism that he has gone overboard in his attacks against the new administration. “I don't pay a lot of attention to what the critics say, obviously,” Cheney said.

Because, you know, according to conservatism, listening to your critics turns you gay.

No matter that more than sixty percent of the American public rejected his way of life, and less than twenty percent of Americans identify as Republican, and everyone else on earth thinks this guy should be put out to pasture, but, Dick Cheney believes that everyone just needs to be more like Dick Cheney.

“I personally am a conservative Republican,” he said. “I obviously believe in my philosophy, and I think that's the basis upon which we have to build any resurgence of our party. I think we will, but I think we'll do it by being true to our principles, not becoming more like the Democrats.”
Asked if he believed the Republican Party would become isolated if it followed his route, the former vice president said simply “no.”

Yes, you and the people who enable you Mr Cheney, are nothing short of war criminals. Not only the policies that you have followed have made America and the world less safer, your bankrupt ideology has caused millions of people to lose their lives and millions of others to be denied their rights. But we take heart in the fact if you keep up what you are doing, in a few years, you and your party will have self destructed and disappeared into a whites-only country club. Just like your former boss.

Hey, don't take my word for it.


arayans said...

i've lost my will to write. ur too fucking awesome, and have given me an inferiority complex. u shall soon receive a court (or whatever) order to pay up for my psycho-consultation fees.

[see, even my comments suck...i've been seriously afflicted]

Indian John Doe said...

Hahaha...loved the asshole comment :)))))
the video is hilarious...and the comment about free markets is just priceless :)

Over Rated said...

@Aryan: Dude, you give me wayyyy too much credit than I actually deserve! But thanks ... :P ...

@IJD: Yeah, Bill Maher always cracks me up!