Saturday, May 30, 2009

Honky, please aka if you keep beating up us Indians, who is going to tell you how to use your computer or help you cheat on your taxes?

It's open season on Indians everywhere. Since Kangaroo-fucking season is over, it's now the turn of the annual curry-bashing festival.

When the hot, bikini model was handing out invites to Indian students requesting the pleasure of their company in one of their esteemed universities where they teach high-value courses like crocodile hunting and beer guzzling, she missed to mention one teeny-tiny detail. Which was, that you might get mauled or killed if you commit the heinous crime of being brown.

Everything was going fine and no one was really bothered until the keeper of our national conscience, Arnab Goswami and Times Now, told us to GET ANGRY. That's because as a nation, we really aren't bothered about what happens to people who are not us. Hey, since there are so many of us, why to waste our time worrying about a few stray incidents? After al those people shunned their patriotic duty and did not waste their time "studying" in one of our crappy universities. Hey, if they can't get into an IIT/IIM, how good will they be? Karma is a bitch, isn't it?

And god forbid we should say anything to our government. They were just sworn in. Most of the ministers haven't even been allotted their official house in Delhi where they can keep their mistresses. Also, if you want to blame someone, blame self-proclaimed national monument, Arjun Singh and don't go pointing fingers at everyone else who enabled him. This new-old government is going to open an IIT in every city and staff them with the same government school teachers who mark their attendance by proxy and collect extra pay by giving private tuition. If they don't like government run universities, they can always get their degree in a university the government doesn't recognize. Works out for everyone, doesn't it?

And Australia? Horrifying! Who would have thought that those sweet convict descendants will not be nice to their paying houseguests?

The Australian government isn't that concerned about these incidents. C'mon, what's a few comatose students between good friends? Those race bashers are probably some kooky old skinheads who must be nostalgic for the good ole days when Australian bigotry was coded in the Australian constitution. Isn't that right, mate? No need to get all snappy.

As yoda would say, a few stray incidents here and there do not a racist nation make.

Also, mate, "curry bashing" is so retro. It sounds so 80's Britain. If you want to use a racial epithet, then get it correct. It's Macaca now. Ma-ca-ca.


Anonymous said...

We will! I mean, if they beat one Indian and he returns home, another Indian will take his place!

Prats said...

so true!!

Satyajit said...

population control

Mumbai 58 said...

after all no one can quite populate the world like we indians can!!

Over Rated said...

@Rakesh: Yeah, exactly!

@Prats: True, that!

@Satayjit: LOL!

@Mumbai 58: Yeah, we're already one-sixth of the world's population!

Gomes said...

Love your post.One minor irritation, though. :) By pointing out that Australia was a Brit Penal colony some 200 odd years back and jeering at it, aren't we taking the baby steps on the road to discrimination? All casteism, racism and a thousand other bad isms are built on the fact that you are going to be judged based on the what your grandfather was and not on your own actions. So not cricket, matey!

Over Rated said...

@Gomes: No, because I was actually spoofing the people who were doing it. Ergo. Preaching to the choir, matey.