Thursday, November 13, 2008

Say it isn't so, Bo


This is just not fair, Mr President-Elect. You just sucked the fun out of Presidential press conferences. You did not fumble when you spoke, you did not invent any new words, your short speech did not sound like something an awkward fourth-grader would say. The words you used had the G's at the end intact. You pronounced nuclear as, nuclear. Hell, you even completed your sentences.

In fact, you appeared to know your shit. You have nuanced positions on certain issues, for crying out loud.

This is completely unacceptable and has to change. Look, we cheered for you. Kenya had an orgasm when you won. The British dropped their plate of spotted dick (it's a food item, you pervert) as soon as they heard. The Chinese opened up some lead-infested dog food to feed some of it's rural workers, in your honor. A few Russians stopped hitting their wives for a while to see CNN declare you the winner over that 200 year old man and that professional infomercial saleswoman.

So, you need to give us our comic relief.

Look, for the past eight years, it has been easy for the rest of the world to see your current President and feel good about ourselves. No matter how fucked up our own leaders were, just having them stand next to that dumb fuck from Texas made them appear statesmen-like. Americans felt inadequate and apologetic whenever they were overseas. We had a good laugh at them, even though orphans in our countries were dying. I mean, who cares about the poor when you have the so called leader of the free world cannot say anything coherent?

You had to win and ruin it all. Thanks to you, being intelligent is cool again. When you held that press conference, it was like listening to adults have a serious and constructive conversation.
Where is the fun in that?

Damn you, Mr President-Elect.

I don't speak for everybody, but some of us are going to miss President Numb Nuts.

Although, my third eye tell me that there is someone on the horizon who is going to make things right again. You betcha!!

19 comments:

Nikhil Narayanan said...

Hilarious stuff.

-Nikhil

manju said...

Great satire! However I hope that the certain someone on the horizon does not succeed in her comeback! :)

Abhishek said...

Well he did some 'seances' about Nancy Regan. But you are being unfare to poor guy. Who can match the 'wits' of his predecessor!

Vida Peepul said...

As long as we have our GILs (Great Indian Leaders) around, things ought to be just fine. Oh wait....actually, GILs are bad for satire too -- I mean, how can you spoof something that's so bizarre that it's already a spoof?

Arby K said...

Don't get that disheartened. Obama has some sense of humor. http://laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/11/11/barack-channels-red-buttons/#

And Joe Biden still has some comic relief potential up his sleeve as well :)

Ramesh Srivats said...

Hilarious.

I also found it amazing the way India was discussing nothing but his call. And even more amazing that Manmohancouldn't take it because he was travelling. You can check out my take on this at http://www.rameshsrivats.net/2008/11/manmohan-calls-customer-service.html

Che said...

Should we start a group on facebook, "We want Dubya back"?

pseudo intellectual said...

haha. that was awesome! and i think you can bank on sarah palin for the much needed comic relief :D

Manish said...

And when will you actually come out of this us-politics-fixation phase?

ess said...

Thanks to you, being intelligent is cool again

Dude, being intelligent was always cool. For all that you've said about Dubya and the hockey mom, can you honestly say you want to be like them?

And seriously, get off the US elections already. You've told the media to stop, haven't you? There's so much to lampoon back here!

indicaspecies said...

Good one, and had a hearty laugh. Over here via DP.

Rambler said...

Now,with bush gone and obama in, who will jay leno crack jokes on? I am sure there wont be a repeat of dubyaman

Tazeen said...

hilarious


now that dubya is the lame duck, we all feel sort of nostalgic

ursjina said...

cool..cool..double cool...being intelligent is cool again was the best...

Mudra said...

Hilarious, as always.

Labia said...

Bravo! That was pretty classic.

A Girl from Timbuktu said...

very well written :)

Over Rated said...

@nikhil: Thanks for that ...

@manju: I hope so too ..

@abhishek: Exactly!! W is like one in a trillion ..

@vida peepul: i know!! R gils are too stale ...

@arby k: ..thanks for that ....biden still has some possibilities ... i hope ...

@ramesh: I know!! How weird was that .. and ur post was funny too!!

@che: i hope it has more success than the "impeach obama" group that has already been started by some republican nut jobs ...

@psuedo: She never fails us as far as comic relief is concerned ...

@manish: WHO ME??? I barely talk about american politics ....

@ess: I was being ironic. Have you seen the recent spate of dumb world leaders? Chvavez, Raul Castro, Berlocussini.. Dumb, dumb, dumb ... Again, do i really talk about the us elections that much??

@indicaspecies: thanks for that ...

@rambler: Well the clintons are back ... so be ready for more fat intern jokes

@tazeen: yes, we're gonna miss that sorry basted ... and he always appeared to be a lame duck ....

@ursjina: hehe .. thanks ....

@mudra: Thanks ... U ain't just sayin that??

@labia: thank you ...

@girl from timbuktu: thanks you ....

ramma said...

bahahahaha....You are Good...really Good... I've been hooked to your blog for more than an hour now...n i'm not even bored!!
Brilliant Writing!! =)

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