Sunday, February 7, 2010

A treasury of classical greatest twitter hits from Sagarika Ghose

Famous crazy person, Sagarika 'Shouty' Ghose, who screams from inside your teevee every night, also has a twitter machine, which is full of comedic gold.

Here are a few selected classics:

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Here, Ms. Ghose appears to be apologizing to a movie, for leaving a stain on it's coffee table, perhaps?

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She loves Dan Brown. Now her whole 'reporting' makes sense.

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OMG, she JUST discovered the subject for the next Dan Brown best-seller!!1! The HOLY GRAIL of Global Warming! It's almost orgasmic, for Dan Brown fans!!!

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Yes, because the temperature changes are only happening in the West. Having a heat wave and a cold wave in the same frikin year signifies that mother nature is simply trying to be fair in choosing the method with which to kill homeless people. And who knows better about the science behind global warming than an economist?

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*Facepalm*

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Yes. And Ms. Ghose, who is the daughter of Bhaskar Ghose, famous I&B secretary, and wife of Rajdeep Sardesai, her boss, is clearly against nepotism. Well, done maa'm. Well, done.

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Those goddamn poors do not know how to behave. They should just behave like good poor people and be happy that they have got the opportunity to study in a "foreign" University. A "journalist" like "Sagarika" "Ghose" will not "stand" for such "behaviour". ( I might have "overdone" with the quotation marks. "Sorry".)

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She will single-handedly kill Haldirams and all it's thousands of branches, by not gracing it with her benign presence.

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I am willing to bet good money that she talks to her plants. And by talking I mean SHOUTING ON THE TOP OF HER VOICE. Her plants are not not growing because of the season, THEY ARE SCARED & AFRAID THAT SHE WILL TALK TO THEM, EVERYDAY!

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I hadn't read this tweet before I posted the previous one. Honest!

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Yes, bollywood is famous for such Bohemian and Liberal movies such as DDLJ, HAHK, K3G etc. Because nothing says liberal like movies which 'empower' woman by portraying them as pawns in the hands of men. And those crazy Bohemian movies, which portray children who don't obey every single directive from their parents as evil! Also, Alok Nath's career, for some reason.

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Yes, it's so great that she can win a debate against a straw man. It's such an accomplishment to offend people that are looking for something to be offended at!! Bravo, Ms. Ghoss! Bravo!!

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Childish name calling and generalising is such a great way to win an argument. Grouping and stereotyping your opponents on the basis of religion is the same bullshit tactic that is used by the very people she pretends to stand against. Using your soapbox to score brownie points against people with whom you have a political disagreement with is simply the way of the coward.

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Oh! Oh!! Oh!!! Comparisons!! My turn! If Sagarika Ghose is India's Sarah Palin. then Rajdeep Sardesai is it's John McCain. If Sagarika Ghose offends you, then you probably must be stupider than she is. If you watch Sagrika on teevee everyday, there is a 1000% chance of you becoming suicidal.

 

[Tweets via Sagarika Ghose's Twitter feed]

39 comments:

Ketan said...

LOL@:

1. Famous crazy person

2. Mother nature's manner of showing fairness.

3. "She talks to her plants"; and probably she feels frustrated because her plants don't talk back!

4. "I hadn't read this tweet before I posted the previous one. Honest!" Did you get any money now that you've won the bet? And now I know why you and wikipedia are equally reliable.

5. "Using your soapbox to score brownie points against people with whom you have a political disagreement with is simply the way of the coward." Hey, did I miss something? I couldn't find anything sarcastic or remotely humorous in this sentence. :( Were you alright when you typed that paragraph?

6. "1000% chance that you are feeling suicidal." Hey, why did you trail off at suicidal? I just hope, you've not been watching her on teevee everyday! Please don't do it! I love your blog. I swear!

Anyway, hoping you survive your suicidal attempt, I wanted to know if you missed the a in her first name after g or, did I again miss some joke there?

Also, I hope you do not do an entire blog post on my unconventional style of commenting just like you did on Sagarika's tweets. But on third thoughts, I wouldn't mind some free publicity. ;)

And you follow her so religiously, I am concerned you shouldn't be interested in her a way(*) in which you should not be interested in her. After all, she is married to her plants, and you must be not be knowing how to pollinate. Do you? Think of it, the only unengaged orifice would be the cylindrical center of the bamboo. Are you game for it?

*Being interested in her in *any* way is not good for your health. Uncyclopedia supports my claim.

Vaibhav said...

Awesome ... and I thought it was only me who found her excruciatingly horrible.

Pradyut said...

Pure epicness! :D

Tigerseye said...

You must be positively in love with her to suffer through her shows! I'd rather die laughing with Arnab Goswami making fish-faces.

longblackveil said...

Hee hee. Well done. You had me at 'Famous crazy person".

Ketan said...

LOL @ fish-faces!

Tigerseye, do you by any chance have a thing going for animals and their body parts? Or was your above comment merely coincidental?

Anonymous said...

Delhi is in the northern hemisphere!!

Sayan said...

Finally some proper responses to the half-witted indian news media personalities!

Please don't limit yourself to just one. Take on the rest too. They are as inane as Ms Ghosh.

mochachilo said...

I salute thee. For making my dull Monday morning a slightly better time to land up at office and stare at the computer.

But why, may I ask, have you left out our very best: Gul Panag?

Anshul said...

Awsome....plain simply awsome...!

Gajendra said...

she is pretty dumb.....it shows on her face too

Anonymous said...

Someone make her read this pls! Just for her retarded reaction.

Nikhil said...

HAHAHAHA nice compilation

arzvi said...

Think about it, twitter is an open forum, no one can and should have the right to criticize what other ppl tweet, and you morons don't even understand the society of twitter. If you don't like someone's tweets, freakin unfollow them u dumbass, did Sarika come to your home and fall down on your legs requesting you to follow her??
Bunch of empty headed losers

Over Rated said...

@ketan: 3. I think she doesn't even notice that her plants don't talk back. I imagine she holds panel discussions between the narangi, bamboos and lilies!

5. Well, I couldn't resist getting a little bit sanctimonious. :P . . .

6. I trailed off at suicidal because I had had enough of reading her tweets and needed some fresh air . . . and a large amount of JD!

And thanks for pointing out the typos! I corrected them at the right time or the joke would have been on me!!

I would never do that to you cause I like your comments! (even though I don't agree with you sometimes!)

I don't actually follow her on twitter, got these tweets from her twitter page!

And don't worry, I am only interested in her for blog fodder. Hehe!

@Vaibhav: By the comments and the page hits, it's safe to say there are a LOT of people who agree with your train of thought!

@Pradyut: Thanks!

@Tigerseye: I actually gave up watching Indian news channels a long time ago! I only watch when I need a few laughs!

@Longblackveil: Hehe, thanks!

@Anon1: Sheesh! Tell me about it!

@Sayan: Thanks! I will, but I started with her cause she is the queen among the banal & the inane!

@mochacilo: Well, I thought I'd start with Ms. Ghose. I never even thought about Ms. Panag. Will check her out!

@Anshul: Thanks!!

@Gajendra: I once saw her trying to anchor a panel discussion! It was hilariously #fail!

@Anon2: By the amount of tweets this post has generated, I think this would be hard to miss!

@Nikhil: Thanks!

@Arzvi: Actually your argument does not hold any water. It's 2010. If you put your stuff out there for everyone to read, then expect to be mocked. Everyone is fair game, specially someone who is on television every night and influences a large number of people with her drivel.

And for the record, I don't actually follow her.

If you don't want people to mock you and point out your stupidity, don't open your tweets to the public. It's that simple.

Capiche?

Ketan said...

Sorry OO,

I have to confess, arzvi above has definitely stolen the show. His/her/its comment is infinitely more comical than your post. And not to forget, self-inconsistent. But now I leave it to you to try to beat arzvi at his/her/its game. btw, I didn't know sa(ga)rika had 'friends' other than plants! Or is this a 'plant'ed comment?

Anonymous said...

@arzvi:
Hey dumbass, same applies to you. If you dont like this post then you can close your browser/tab...

BlogMaster said...

Dude, good post! what about Barkha? isn't she elder sister of Sagarika?? let me know if u have a post on her as well!! :)

jinu kurien said...

Hilarious stuff !!!

daddysan said...

Gold-class pwnage!

RukmaniRam said...

:D acerbic as ever.

its too bad people respond to trolls in the comments though. But nothing says "youre awesome" like a troll in the feedback :P

100rabh™ said...

I loved it when you said that she is Sarah Palin of India :-)

Ramkumar Ramachandra said...

Amazingly hilarious! Without your comments, the tweets wouldn't be half as hilarious ;)

Over Rated said...

@Ketan: I have no idea! But it's funy to imagine that even Sags would have fanboys/fangirls!

@Anon2: Ha,ha! Thanks, for that!

@Blogmaster: Thanks! :D

@Jinu: Thank you!

@Daddysan: Hehe, thanks!

@Rukmani: Exactly! I can't help but respond to trolls, since I rarely get them. :P . . .

@100rabh: I usually don't make such comparisons, but I think this one was on the money!

@Ramkumar: Thanks, dude! Appreciate that.

Ketan said...

fanboys/fangirls, or fangboys/fanggirls? ;)

It's already my third fourth comment on the post, and we aren't even arguing! :O Hope, you don't mind the attention. :P

Solilo said...

Hahaha hilarious stuff esp. after reading her spite today.

What's in a name? said...

I wanted to to do this..you beat me to it. :-) :-). You had me laughing.

One addition if I may. http://twitter.com/sagarikaghose/status/5283325860

"Bush is charming?" - - Yeah Right!

Ketan said...

@ What's in a name?

"Bush" is not a proper noun! She was talking of friends from kingdom plantae! Plus, what's in a name, anyway? ;)

Over Rated said...

@Ketan: Fangbpy/fanggirls maybe right! Attention is something I can never have enough off!

I guess you know what I mean! :P . . . .

@Solilo: Yeah, she was vicious. I wonder what pissed her off? :P . . .


@What's in a name: Well, let that not hold you back. The internet is big enough for everyone!!

@Ketan: I think 'Bush' can be interpreted in a lot of ways. See, Ms. Ghose's tweets are like art. Each tweet can be interpreted in different ways.

(To my credit, I do also reply to all of your comments!) :P . . .

Krishna said...

Had a blast !

Sanjukta said...

wow, I wish I was enough famous and crazy for somebody to spend this much time and resources in taking pot shots at me, when will that be? :P

Rakesh said...

And I haven't even seen this lady on teevee :(

And look at that 31 comments!!!

You've learnt, a little late albiet, taking potshots at someone famous does it :)

Now I need to take some potshots at you - I guess you're famous enough now.

And yes, please We want Barkha !!!

Over Rated said...

@Krishna: Thanks!

@Sanjukta: Firstly, I don't take pot-shots! Don't even know what it means! Please use only words which a fifth-grade student can understand while talking to me. Secondly, if you want, you can pay me to mock your tweets! I do that for free in my head everyday, anyway! :P !

@Rakesh: Oh, try youtube! Although, not too much otherwise it might cause your left hand to continously twich for a few hours! Please take "pot-shots" at me! I am so excited because I don't even know what it means! I'm guessing it involves marijuana in some way or the other!!

Blog Barfer said...

haha crazy lady that one ..

shiv said...

superb man
liked that..................

Vignesh_Tamil said...

Sagarika [Crazy] Goose... Now that's "coining the term" for you, lovely lady... Queen of armchair pundits...

Anonymous said...

Awesome!

Fghy said...

Her plants are not not growing because of the season, THEY ARE SCARED & AFRAID THAT SHE WILL TALK TO THEM, EVERYDAY!

Jumbomumbo said...

Another dumbo Stephanian tele-journalist. Can't figure out who is dumber-- Ghosh or Barkha Dutt. Little on top and much less elsewhere! Whoever called her the sarah Palin of Indian jouralism deserves a handshake.

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