Tuesday, June 2, 2009

No trains were harmed while writing this post . . .

. . . because that would be like destroying my own money. And I'd rather spend it on stocking up on alcohol to use on "dry" days. But that's another story.

This is not the burning train [Image Via IEXP]

Some officer concerned with the profitability of the Railways asked a few trains not to stop everytime someone gets up to take a leak. This didn't go well with some people, and they did the obvious, normal, rational thing. They burnt down the f'king train. Because that's what you do in this country when you want to bully the government. Get together a few dozen people who like to destroy stuff to compensate for being emasculated by their wives , have some masala chai and then burn down something which the government paid for with taxpayer money. Some people might have a legitimate concern but going from Level 1 to Level lets-burn-the-fucker-down is just plain stupid. Or incredibly brilliant. Depends on whether you're reading Ayn Rand or Paulo Cohelo. 

I know laws don't matter a lot in Bihar but let's make a new one. Anyone who burns trains or destroys public property actually does not get their demands met. This is the easiest way for anyone to force the government to do anything. Oh, I'm sorry, We already have such a law. It's the government's responsibility to protect our national property. It's our taxes we which pay for this. Letting these people go scot free encourages everyone else to do that too. In fact, that's what LAWS are for. If we really had a government which put country before petty regional politics, they would have said NO. People can be heard out and if their concerns are legitimate, they can be addressed. But not this way. Alas, since our government thinks that the taxpayer's money is their dowry stash, they magnanimously "forgive" these people. And then they lean back in their taxpayer funded chair while staying in their taxpayer funded house while being cooled by their taxpayer funded air conditioner. Then they go on television and dismiss the concerns of the taxpaying public as "elitist" opinions.

Gee, what does one have to do to knock some sense into these people?

Burn a train or something?

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India is about to get it's first woman speaker. The soft-spoken and former daughter of deputy PM Jagjivan Ram. [Note: The post of deputy PM is not of much consequence. It does not come with any real powers and is basically used to assuage huge egos. It's just like the head of the UN.]

I'd like to know whose brilliant idea this was? Has anyone heard Meira Kumar speak? One has to put the volume on max just to see her lips move. This time if any members of the lok sabha are gathered at the well of the house, they won't be protesting, they would be trying to HEAR the speaker. Her appointment is going to be like a stimulus package for the hearing aid industry.

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Now that a new era of governance is upon us, India re-learns the fact that the Pakistani establishment is not serious about combating terror.

Really? What tipped you off, genius? Is it the fact that they still consider the Taliban which is TAKING OVER their country a strategic asset? Or the fact that the United States had to literally bribe the Pakistani Army to take on insurgents in their OWN country and protect the very people they are supposed to serve?

No, seriously. I'm curious to know what would make you believe that the Pakistani establishment would put an end to it's only export.

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Two people returning from a vacation from the US bought along with them shares of general motors, an unlicensed gun, umpteen boxes of Ferrero rocher to gift to their relatives at every occasion and the dreaded pig virus which might or might not kill us all. Sounds like a really fun trip.

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Laloo continues to be rejected by the people of Bihar, the people in Tripura are sick of the left, and Karunanidhi is to celebrate his birthday along with all his hundred wives and five thousand children. I wonder how Karunanidhi's family ever organises a surprise party? Do they all get together in a large stadium or an empty planet or something?

Oh, and someone please send him a telegram!

8 comments:

Rakesh said...

Awesome OO!!!

Super stuff, as always! I mean, have you seriously considered writing for a talk show? Go for it OO! I'm bemused by the little number of comments you get...

And when I write crap half as good, I get a whole bunch of comments :) (Lucky me)

Stray said...

[LOL at someone believing they actually are in the same league as OO... sheesh!!]

Now that I've pandered u'r ego, lemme bring u down a couple notches by letting you know that I really liked this post! Hehehe...

sanely insane said...

maybe this is the new way to clean trains...burn the frigging things up

its a retarded way of progressing :Pt

Manish said...

The stuff about Meira Kumar was ROTFL!! That exact thought crossed my mind as well. She is so not audible. How can she be the speaker trying to control a bunch of people who are even worse than 5-yr olds when it comes to creating ruckus??!!

Mumbai 58 said...

Good Lord, my mouth hurts, belly hurts..If I die out of laughing can I sue you, rather haunt you?

The comments on Meira was a total knock out (deputy PM=head of UN lol).
May be though when she sings Kalidas, everyone will leave Kalawati and their supporters alone :)

Pakistan is an easy target but still this was great. In fact the whole piece was legend stuff!

Are you sure you don't own a show of any kind? U should, I'd watch it 24*7

Thanks for the laugh, so needed it

teryvak said...

ahaha...coelho would be burn the fucker down?!?!

Over Rated said...

@Rakesh: Heh, thanks Rakesh! I can always pretend to be an artist who hasn't been appreciated in his own time which is so far away from the truth! :P . . . Plus your write wayy better than I ever could!

@Stray: So you mean to say that I'm so bad that I am the only one in my sub-group? Interesting. Very interesting.

@Sanely insane: Heh, yeah. Retarded is right.

@Manish: Even five year olds are better behave! These people are like those monkeys from the disney Jungle book!!

@Mumbai 58: Thanks! Nope. I don't have a show. That is the reason I started this blog. TO have a space for my mental farts.

@Teryvak: No, Coehlo would find eet ah leetle stupid. But Ayn would appreciate it!!

Indian John Doe said...

"Burn a train or something?" ROTFL :)
That comment about the head of the UN is priceless and so f'king true!

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