So, tomorrow, by this time, America will have a new President, our generation will have it's JFK (or Clinton?) and Iran will have a new picture to burn and direct it's anger at.
Finally, as the world breathes a sigh of relief, the Bush years come to an end.
So, as a special favor for our unflinching support, President Bush had his speechwriter, Forth grader Debra McBride from Crawford Texas send us the first draft of his farewell speech for us. As he loves to say, it seems that our childrens are really learning.
Fellow citizens: For eight years, it has been my honor to serve as your
Tonight I am filled with gratitude — to Vice President Cheney
As the years passed, most Americans were able to return to life much as it had been before 9/11. But I never did. Every morning, I received a briefing on the threats to our nation
Over the past seven years, a new Department of Homeland Security has been created
There is legitimate debate about many of these decisions. But there can be little debate about the results
The battles waged by our troops are part of a broader struggle between two dramatically different systems
rich and poor. Under one, a small band of fanatics demands total obedience to an oppressive ideology I'm looking at you , Rev Warren. The other system is based on the conviction that freedom is the universal gift of Almighty God, and that liberty and justice light the path to peace also torturing innocent people. What? I'm just saying.
This is the belief that gave birth to our nation
that and a need for a local Starbucks. And in the long run, advancing this belief is the only practical way to protect our citizens Although we might have jumped the shark. When people live in freedom, they do not willingly choose leaders who pursue campaigns of terror Unless they are forced by the US Supreme court. When people have hope in the future, they will not cede their lives to violence and extremism. So around the world, America is promoting human liberty, human rights and human dignity Once it woks in the rest of the world, we will try it in America. We're standing with dissidents and young democracies, providing AIDS medicine to dying patients which usually cost an arm and a liver — to bring dying patients back to life just like we bring back Dick Cheney everytime he has a heart attack, and sparing mothers and babies from malaria Was I the only one who saw Slumdog Millionare?. And this great republic born alone in liberty is leading the world toward a new age when freedom belongs to all nations except if they have oil. Then they belong to us. Tee hee.
For eight years, we've also strive to expand opportunity and hope here at home
Specially if they are bankers. Across our country, students are rising to meet higher standards in public schools they can now write their own name. I can't even do that!. The addicted and suffering are finding new hope through faith-based programs Just like I did. Although I find it easier to talk to God when I am high. Vulnerable human life is better protected specially since I took away Dick Cheney's gun. Funding for our veterans has nearly doubled. America's air and water and lands are measurably cleaner if by cleaner you mean full of dead bodies of people who dared to cross the mob. And the federal bench includes wise new members like my former nanny Justice Sam Alito and my former gardener Chief Justice John Roberts.
It has been the privilege of a lifetime to serve as your president. There have been good days and tough days
but most of them were bad days. But every day I have been inspired by the greatness of our country, and uplifted by the goodness of our people . I have been blessed to represent this nation we love The great state of Texas. And I will always be honored to carry a title that means more to me than any other — Chief Cheerleader - a title I earned in my college days citizen of the United States of America .
And so, my fellow Americans, for the final time: Good night
Please stop celebrating for at least a minute. May God bless this house and our next president Do you know he's black?. And may God bless you and our wonderful country. Thank you Colnel Sanders.