Saturday, January 10, 2009

Gaza: It's deja vu all over again

The situation at Gaza has begun to worsen day by day. And since no one wants to give peace a chance, we at Overated Outcast gave various individuals and entities a chance to provide a solution to this huge humanitarian crisis.

The Hillary Clinton Solution: Israel and Palestine become the 51st and 52nd states of the United States of America. Then they award all their delgates to Hillary, who then goes to the supreme court to recall Obama and voila, say halo to Madam President Clinton.

The Sarah Palin solution (in her own words): Oh, gosh darnit you people. Say it isn't so. Now listen here. Y'all stop fighting and accept Jesus Christ as your lord and saviour. And everything will just be a-okay. You betcha!! Doggone it.

The Asif Ali Zardari solution: War? There is no war. It's just that a single poor Israeli solider was caught in the cross fire between two farmers who were cheating on each others goats. Nothing major. It's all good. The Hamas led Palestine government has nothing to do with it. It's just it's militant arm, a totally non-state actor, which is causing all the rukus. No war. Everything is fine. Couldn't be better.

The Nicolas Sarkozy solution: Why don't ze all of you get a haut wife like I did and have sex weed her ze whole day long?

The Satyam solution: Convince the Hamas leaders that due to the wonders of modern techlogy, you have been able to build more land beyond the gaza strip. And that you would hand it over to them for a token sum of $1 billion. Once you have all their money, leave immediately and let the Israelis handle all the questions.

The Afganistan solution: You know what will bring peace to gaza and the rest of the world? Our all new bitchin Nan. It's yummy stuffing consists of half of the choicest goat's balls and half of the head of an infidel. It's full of energy and will help you beat your wife the whole day long. Please note that we do weddings and Burqa parties. Contact your nearest Taliban office.

The Oprah solution: Less killing and more hugging people. And everybody gets their bombshelled house redone by Nate Berkus. And a free copy of the next fraud author we pick for the Oprah book club.

The Deve Gowda solution: Why don't we all retrace our steps back to our beds & hammocks and just take a nap? Anyone? No? Just hear me talk for a few minutes. You'll enter a self induced coma. Trust me.

The Dick Cheney solution: Hey, why are you girls fighting each other? You do know you got no oil, right?

The Guns N Roses solution: Dunno about that right now, but would come up with a solution within the next eighteen years. P.S. Need some cocaine, ASAP.

The Armageddon solution: Do whatever you're doing right now, and when you finally end up killing each other, Iran can use Gaza as a concert venue.


BrownPhantom said...

Dick C one is a gem :).

Paradox Philic said...

Well... You have got to see the passion with which these locals (I am in Egypt) hate the Israelis for this and more... Man, its more passionate than Indo-Pak issue for an Indian/Pakistani.... and i always thought nothing could ever beat that!

Tazeen said...

If only Israelis knew that there is no oil in Gaza and the land beyond ... Dick Cheney should let them in on that secret

MaDdy!!! said...

Hillarious!!!! good work

Amrita said...

This is like a delicious salad of pop culture and politics! I could gobble this up.

Over Rated said...

@Brownphantom: Thanks!!

@Paradox: Yes, I believe they do make the India/Pakistan divide seem normal.

@Tazeen: At this stage, even Dick's family does not believe him.

@Maddy: Thanks!!

@Amrita: Haha!! Please do .... :P ...

RukmaniRam said...

why still sarah paling?

I think I like Hilary Clinton's solution the best :P