Indonesia declares War on "Hindu" Yoga
Following the lead of their wonderful and secular neighbours Malaysia, the clerics in Indonesia issued a fatwa against Yoga. Apparently, they took this decision after they saw Shilpa Shetty's latest Yoga DVD.
Sri Ram Sena declares War on Women
In a shocking and deplorable incident last week, on the eve of Republic Day, a large number of men who have nothing better to do in their life, except pick on people having fun, bullied and beat up four women in a Manglore city pub. The president of their cult later released a statement saying that "If people think that the Taliban are the only people who can use force to espouse sixth century values then they got another thing coming". Then he went back home to beat his wife for daring to lift her head while talking to him.
Rajathan CM declares War on Shopping
Rajasthan CM Ashok Gehlot has come out strongly against the mall "culture" and said that hormonal young adults holding each other's hand while trying to buy a T-Shirt which says "Just Do It" is against Rajasthan's traditions. He added that he was all for upholding tradition. The tradition of underage girls getting married to men old enough to be their grandfather while their family goes into huge debt for her wedding dowry which they keep trying to pay for the rest of their life. Tradition which makes you warm and glowy inside.
..... And so does the Karnataka Chief Minister
The chief minister of Karnataka has promised the people in his state that he would not let "pub culture" grow. In a statement, he added that he and his party are in no way affiliated with the Sri Ram Sena, but would still like to "stop young people from drinking the alcohol and engaging in the sexual intercourse and having the inter-caste children".
NDTV declares War on Blogging
In what many hail as a win for free speech, poor & defenseless NDTV has forced a big mean blogger to withdraw and apologize for posting his opinion on his own blog. Sources who in no way are close to NDTV or any of it's affiliates told us that this is part of their plan to strike fear in the hearts of everyone who holds an opinion and wants to share it with a few dozen like minded people. Our sources also tell us about NDTV's plan to take over the world. We would have said more but our lips are sealed. By a court order.
MNS declares War on things of Pakistani origin
In an ultimate show of patriotism, the MNS made the owner of Karachi Sweet Shop change the name of his UnIndian and traitoresque shop to something more Indian. In fact, the owner of the shop even dared to complain to the Bombay police. Luckily, in the holy tradition of Indian democracy, the police "advised" the sweet shop owner to follow suit with the MNS diktat. This is another applause-worthy move by the MNS after banning books by Pakistani authors and sending self proclaimed comedians back to where they belong. No word yet on whether eating Lahori Meat is patriotic or not.