- Rich people are really bad and hate poor people
- Poor people are really at one with the universe
- Rich people don't bring up their own children; because the father is busy working all the time and the mother is busy attending kitty parties held everyday after the children come home
- 80 year old maids make good surrogate mothers
- Women who wear "western" dresses will do anyone who offers them a drink or a smoke
- Women who wear suits will always be a virgin and will only be deflowered by her husband
- Whenever people get sick or almost murdered and are taken to a hospital, the doctors would rather wait for the police and let the patient die than actually cure them
- Whenever someone gets a serious ailment, his insurance would've expired just 2 days ago and his family will not even have the Rs. 50,000 that the hospital demands as initial payment
- White guys just want to lay poor suit wearing Indian virgins and white women are just dying to become suit wearing Indian bahus
- White women have are easy to lay
- White people speak can speak chaste hindi or urdu; albeit with an accent
- Hindi speaking white people somehow turn out to be racists
- Whenever a women's family needs money, she should always go to borrow money from the leech of a man who has been lusting after her and wouldn't think twice before raping her
- All self-respecting middle-class families in India have at least one sweet pomerian pet so that he can follow the people who kidnap their children
- Dogs of other breeds will give up their life for their owners
- People who come from "amreeka" wear pink jeans and orange shirts and speak English with a bhojpuri accent
- Conservative-minded parents will only let you marry either someone to whom you had been promised to when you were 3 or someone who lives in their village
- Open minded parents might let you marry people of the same or better economic status
- If you don't get dowry when you're married, you might get burnt/charred/beaten to pulp/ made to screw the mali
- 18 years old girls are really into 45 year old guys pretending to be college students
- Even though you don't worship God for most of your life, you can always bargain at a time of your choosing to start believing in him if he saves the life of a loved one
- Children can be had without any sexual intercourse whatsoever
- If you adopt a child, chances are that his birth parents are either the couple who's your enemy or your maid & driver
