Sunday, June 15, 2008

What I learnt from Hindi Movies: 80's Edition

- Rich people are really bad and hate poor people

- Poor people are really at one with the universe

- Rich people don't bring up their own children; because the father is busy working all the time and the mother is busy attending kitty parties held everyday after the children come home

- 80 year old maids make good surrogate mothers

- Women who wear "western" dresses will do anyone who offers them a drink or a smoke


- Women who wear suits will always be a virgin and will only be deflowered by her husband


- Whenever people get sick or almost murdered and are taken to a hospital, the doctors would rather wait for the police and let the patient die than actually cure them

- Whenever someone gets a serious ailment, his insurance would've expired just 2 days ago and his family will not even have the Rs. 50,000 that the hospital demands as initial payment

- White guys just want to lay poor suit wearing Indian virgins and white women are just dying to become suit wearing Indian bahus

- White women have are easy to lay

- White people speak can speak chaste hindi or urdu; albeit with an accent

- Hindi speaking white people somehow turn out to be racists

- Whenever a women's family needs money, she should always go to borrow money from the leech of a man who has been lusting after her and wouldn't think twice before raping her

- All self-respecting middle-class families in India have at least one sweet pomerian pet so that he can follow the people who kidnap their children

- Dogs of other breeds will give up their life for their owners

- People who come from "amreeka" wear pink jeans and orange shirts and speak English with a bhojpuri accent

- Conservative-minded parents will only let you marry either someone to whom you had been promised to when you were 3 or someone who lives in their village

- Open minded parents might let you marry people of the same or better economic status

- If you don't get dowry when you're married, you might get burnt/charred/beaten to pulp/ made to screw the mali

- 18 years old girls are really into 45 year old guys pretending to be college students

- Even though you don't worship God for most of your life, you can always bargain at a time of your choosing to start believing in him if he saves the life of a loved one

- Children can be had without any sexual intercourse whatsoever

- If you adopt a child, chances are that his birth parents are either the couple who's your enemy or your maid & driver

7 comments:

Firefoxcub said...

conservative parens will also allow you to marry the man who raped you.

great observations. these should be part of our own ten commandments.

Aspi said...

Heh heh. How about:

Doctors always try their best, but the rest is in God's hands

Over Rated said...

ffc:yeah ... not only allow but force you to so that the "khandan ki izzat" is protected ....

aspi: Oh Yeah!! I missed that .. :P ... i think they spoofed that on Scrubs once ... I'm a doctor dammit!! .. Not God!! ..hehe .. good stuff ...

ess said...

Here's another one:

All through your life there will be ridiculously corny background music, whether you're playing with your Pomeranian or fighting 10 people all at once with only a stick.

chandni said...

lovely!

I am going to come up with mine too :D

MAN IN PAINTING said...

loved it!

Nutee's said...

hey i loved this post hilarious !!!
tho u forgot the quintessential fight seqeuences where all the furniture breaks with the slightest touch cause thts y ppl have furniture to break on ppls head !!!!

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