Thursday, August 27, 2009

If the Swine Flu does not kill you, then reading banned books will

In Gujarat,while the government scrambles to give reasons for banning Jaswant Singh's book, anybody carrying the book can be arrested. Yay! Now that we've caught all the book readers, maybe we can try to catch the terrorists? Maybe? Please? [TOI]

Just like my friend's wife on her honeymoon, India seems to be wasting good money to buy cheap crap from Russia. [The Faster Times]

Since Bush and Cheney could not go personally to shoot each and every "terroriser" in the world, they did the next best thing. They outsourced the killings to a private firm. [The Nation]

Some smart teenagers blogging for the WSJ have determined that we are not ready to fight the impending Swine Flu epidemic, we are all going to die soon. See you in hell, everyone. I'll be the guy sitting on the beach drinking weird alcoholic drinks while telling everyone how to improve things. [WSJ]

After the Afghanistan election, the biggest one for a pretend country, everyone is worried that it may not bring peace to the region and escalate the violence to levels which have not been seen since last week. [Times UK]

I&B minister Ambika Soni plans to make DD news more like the private news channels. The first step in that direction is to start getting the DD anchors to shout the news at the top of their voice. Then, they start reporting on food items shaped like Lord Ganesha. [Indopia]


ess said...

@ DD news becoming like private news channels: Let's not forget harassing bloggers!

Anonymous said...

not to mention having "breaking news" pasted permanently on the screen of every newscast.
and learning to say lajjo ki billi ne saap ke saath kabaddi kheli. aur phir bhi zinda bahar nikali in a way that makes us feel like:
[1] ordering popcorn home, and colas too
[2] emptying the popcorn onto ekta kapoor's head and puking the colas into the popcorn boxes
[3] then emptying the boxes onto the newscaster's head
[4] making rakhi sawant marry the newscaster, and then make ekta kapoor make a soap on it.
[5] and then scream, "help, the newscaster says, we're all going to die"

Avantika A. said...

The actual reading process will also kill you - by putting you into a coma!!
Sheesh. The book is like a bad history text book which puts you to sleep. And it seems like Singh has newly discovered the semi-colon. His sentences go on for paras!! Shudder!

Anonymous said...

Weird guy at the beach! he he...

and Pretend country having elections - What can possibly change.

Ambika Soni has hit sort of a purple patch, no?

Over Rated said...

@ess: Of course! How can I forget that! Also, stealing material from bloggers.

@aryan: Dude, that was hilarious! Spl the lajo line, LMAO!! I think that sums up the news channels perfectly!

@Avantika: You actually read that book! Maybe Jaswant should have sprung for a ghost writer!

@Rakesh: Yup, that's me!! . . . I don't think anything will change in that pretend country, except who sits in the non-ac'ed "Presidential Palace" . . . I think Ambika Soni needs to take a few days off and rest a little. She's been working too hard. :P . . .