Monday, August 17, 2009

Curiosity did not kill the cat; getting stressed out over the wrong thing did

So welcome to another episode of "Let's get outraged together, because some lady on teevee said so".

Tonight, we take a look at how an arrogant American immigration officer treated the Badshaah of Bollywood like a mere commoner.

Okay. So SRK was stopped an interrogated by an American CBP officer for a couple of hours. I'd like to say that they officer was doing his job, but he seemed to have crossed the line and gotten a little Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay-overboard.

But you know what's really outrageous? The fact that there are people who have to go through this everytime they go to America because they don't have Congress MP Rajiv Shukla on speed dial. Why doesn't the Indian embassy do this for EVERY INDIAN who is racially profiled at an American airport? Why are the rules different for movie stars?

You know another thing that is outrageous? Robert Vadra, son-in-law of the nation, does not have to go through security check, whereas the former chief of the army has to.

The Indian government lodged an official complaint with the American embassy in Delhi. Why does the government have to lodge an OFFICIAL complaint? Why do we have to act like little children whose fragile little ego's are hurt everytime someone wants to follow the law? The American embassy in India spends most of it's time trying to stroke the humongous egos in South Block.

The whole SRK incident in short: If you want to get people outraged for being mistreated, go do a couple of movies first. Otherwise, just grin and bear it.

As far as coverage of the incident is concerned, there are a few things:

  • If anyone else points out the irony of Shah Rukh Khan being stopped at the airport and his upcoming movie, they need to be waterboarded by Dick Cheney. Because, um, even little children figured this out. So you don't have to mention it EVERYTIME you report on this.
  • You know what's not ironical? This happening on Independence day. Besides us and a few NRI's trying to compensate for their "guilt" at abandoning the desh, no one else gives a fudge about OUR Independence day. At least not until we have an actor use it in a memorable speech given at a very poignant moment in a blockbuster movie in which the human race is fighting aliens together for the survival of the whole planet.
  • SRK is not a "world celebrity". There are millions of people in India who haven't heard of him because they don't have TV or electricity or BSNL phone lines.
  • Ambika Soni's brilliant suggestion of racially profiling American tourists is our childish desire for an eye for an eye. Some dude named MK Gandhi once said that An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. I wonder if that dude is on twitter because I'd like totally follow him.
  • For once I'd like a leader who stands up and asks the country to act like a frikin grown up. However, I don't think that's happening anytime soon. Which proves once again that growing old does not necessarily make you wiser.
  • One immigration officer does not make the whole country racist. Also, electing Barack Hussien Obama does not make the whole country post-racist.

If the Newark CBP officer was in India, he would have been transferred to some naxal-infested area before you could say Dilwalaye Dulhaniya Le Jayengay. In fact, our security slogan should be "Come to India, if terrorists don't kill you, the swine flu will".

Jai Ho?


A rebel all the way... said...

Did you come up with all those quotes in all those boxes all by yourself? All of those were fuck-all-awesome. :)
I say SRK shouldn't just be detained, but also imprisoned for a couple of nights if he does his overacting ever again.
Btw, whats the name of his upcoming movie anyhow?
And isn't it sad to see that when Kalam was frisked, that thing died its natural death in a couple of days. While this SRK thing will continue for a few years, am sure.

Satyajit said...

If its SRK its newsworthy my friend. The same SRK will use his name to get special treatment in India cause all of us know that in India your last name hold ALL the cards. But thats the other side of the coin.

One piece of advice to SRK.
" Dont want to be frisked at airports? Stay the fuck in Juhu".

Anonymous said...

I'd like to totally follow him as well :)

But honestly, I mean, we do bend rules for every nephew's child of the last government's MP/MLA. So we've come to expect that it is the norm.

I don't know but I think racial profiling is unavoidable. Just that the Americans need to upgrade their database a little...

Indophile said...

He is not complaining about being frisked.I think its about detainment for couple of hours which is always an unsettling experience. Come on everybody !! what was he supposed to say that I know everybody from India is detained for an hour so its OK if it happened with me oh !! I am so middle class.

Abhishek said...

Arre yaar.. leave the issue now!!! Too much has been said for and against. Remember 'there is nothing like bad publicity'

Stray said...

Err, pander me here, but didn't u vote for the hand?!

Now your job's done so you can stop whining (i.e. we dont want you over-exercising your vocal chords). Go home and relax 'cos we've got it covered... boy. Else, we're contemplating the revival of POTA and including traitors such as you thereunder just for the heck of it.

NuttyNits said...

I wonder y the H1N1 maheym is not figuring on your post :P
I find it pretty outragious ppl wear surgical mask all over in India!!
Thinking that its protecting them from everything.

Suchismita said...

Verrrry Nice, but are we not doing what everyone else is?? talking about srk and the publicity??
The best thing may be to just ignore him,err...., it, the incident, i mean.. Cause the motto probably is/'love me, or hate me..just do not ignore me'
totally agree on the Ambika soni thing...

Over Rated said...

@Rebel: Ummm, yeah, those bullet points were written by me. So, thanks. This won't die down untill My Name is Khan releases or something.

@Satyajit: I think your advice is perfect. This needs to go up on a billboard somewhere.

@Rakesh: hehe, I knew you would. Actually, there was a terrorist who uses SRK's name as one of his aliases. The same happened to the late Teddy Kennedy but he turned it into a funny anecdote.

@Indophile: Ummmm, If you read my post, it's an expression of outrage at everybody else's expression of outrage? What's so outrageous about that??

@Abhishek: I agree, but some things need to be said. And since no one else was doing it at that time, I took the task upon myself.

@Stray: No one knows who I voted for besides me because it was a SECRET BALLOT. Muhahahahaha . . .
Also, I would want to ask you to talk to the hand, but I think the space-time continuum would be disturbed.

@NuttyNits: I have a half-writen post about the sine flu in my drafts. Will get to it one of these days.

@Smita: Well, this is like that movie Sophie's choice. I really have something to say, but I can't say it because it might end up giving someone publicity? But then since it'll drive me crazy if I don't say it, I'd rather risk it and say it. Also, I don't think my blog readership is big enough to give anyone any publicity.