This is what a bad hair day looks like!

There are men who are born to a life of mediocrity. Men who are born to work, eat and wither away. Men who go by their whole lives, without being noticed at all. Men who fall by the wayside, never to be heard from again. Then there are those men who born into greatness. Men who have destinies to fulfil. Men who by the sheer force of their willpower end up changing the world. Men who are the true heroes of our time.

One such hero is Mr. Jairam Ramesh. Friend of the blog, hair enthusiast and all round nice guy. After first proving that global warming is a conspiracy and then still coming up with a solution for it, toupee Gandhi is now trying to solve the problem of BT Brinjal, which, as it turns out, is not a type of brinjal sponsored by British Telecom (who knew?).

Anyways, Dr. Hairspray decided that enough was enough and it was time for a change. So he went to West Bengal, the brinjal capital of India (not really. But it adds a little sense to the narrative. So just shuddap and play along).

Since His Hairness is a man of the people, he thought that he would give the people a chance to speak to him. All his friends and co-heroes asked him not to consider views of the lesser beings. But he ignored their sage advice. 'Nay', he said to all the naysayers. He would discard his ego like a bad strand of hair and listen to the wisdom of the less heroic. The less knowledgeable. The people who have no greatness bestowed upon them. The ones who have not been chosen by the almighty to lead the people onto the light.

He braved rain, wind, wind blowing sand in his face, heat, and the arctic cold, (miraculously none of which was able to mess his hair. I need to find out which product he uses), so as to reach his people.

And what did the people do?

 

The people failed him.

All he wanted to do was listen to his people. And they shout at him. Scream at him? Throw ineligible words at him? Try to insult their beloved Captain Haircut? After everything he did for them?

All this just for some goddamn brinjals? It's confounding, is what it is. 

Shame on you, people. Shame on you! How could you? How can you sleep at night knowing how much hurt you caused to our heroes' heart?

However, a small setback like this does not deter our great hero. If the people want him to leave, he would get out of their hair in an instant. He doesn't need their permission to do what's good for them. A true hero sees things us mere mortals cannot even fathom. A true hero saves you from calamities you may never even know off. As some old guy once said, with great power comes great amounts of money great responsibility.

He may be wounded, but he still has a lot of fight in him.

He will be back.

To fight for the people.

To fulfil his destiny.

To take his people onto the light.

Stay tuned, mere mortal.

Stay tuned cause it's going to be one hair raising spectacle.

The Battle of the Blogs

Due to the extensive coverage provided to their blogs, both Aamir Khan and Amitabh Bachchan have lashed out at the media for misinterpreting and reading too much into what they write on their blogs. Aamir Khan said that "When I wrote about my dog Shahrukh, I was actually just talking about my dog. It is just a coincidence that the biggest movie star today shares his name with my pet. Shah Rukh and I are great friends and the media is wrong in saying that both of us are playing a game of oneupmanship". He added that "Right now, Shahrukh is licking his own balls. Of course, I mean the dog. Ha Ha". Meanwhile Amitabh Bachchan has said that when he pasted screen shots of the Power Point presentation comparing the rating of his show vis-a-vis Sharukh's show on his blog he did not intend any malice. "My intention was to ask the public the reason no one is watching Shahrukh's show even though it is top notch Why, even I might watch his show one of these days". He added that he hoped this cleared the air and that his genuine concern is not misinterpreted as gloating. He also said that the email he sent to Star executives which simple said "I told you so, suckers" was just a joke and should not be taken seriously.
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Disclaimer: The above news article is not true and is meant as a parody. It should not be taken seriously.

Hindu Organisation petitions Malika Sherawat

After her recent fashion faux paux at the music release function of Kamal Hasan's latest movie, Malika Sherawat was today petitioned by a hindu youth organistation, the HHA (Horny Hindus Association) to wear less clothes.

The HHA have released the following statement:

We, the HHA, encourage Ms. Sherawat to wear more revealing clothes. At a recent public event, she was covered from her neck to her knees. Even her feet were invisible under some godforsaken shoes Jackie Chan had given her. There wasn't even a hint of cleavage. Thousands of our members who had gathered there to catch a glimpse of her ass were outraged to see that she was all covered up. We urge her not to be pressured to dress appropriately while in public. Those old prudish basteds don't know what they are talking about. We would rather that Ms. Sherawat while selecting an outfit for a public appearance should remember not to leave anything to the imagination. Frankly, if she doesn't show us any T & A, all we are left with is Rakhi Sawant. And with all due respect to that media whore Ms. Sawant , we'd rather wank over Ritiesh Deshmukh in drag.

The HHA has started a campaign, Thongs for Malika, to garner support so as to send a strong message to Ms. Sherawat that Less is More. They are also sending volunteers to Ms. Sherawat's house every hour to collect the sarees being sent to her by the Mahila Mukti Sammelan. The sarees that are collected are being sent to tsunami affected areas in Tamil Nadu, to serve as a temporary shelter for families for whom the government has still not been able to build concrete homes.