Friday, November 20, 2009

Somebody please give Jairam Ramesh his own show. Please.

Look, my hair has 0% dandruff. Geddit?


Say what you want to, but UPA: Season 2 is beginning to sound more fun than the first one. At first, the only comedic stars to emerge from this comedy classic were Shashi "Tweety" Tharoor, A "What's your spectrum?" Raja and VK "Imma Lawwwya" Moily. However, thanks to the writers of the UPA show, another great comedic superstar is now emerging from the shadows.

Usually only known for his really well styled hair (I know, but this joke is still funny to me.), he was last spotted solving the problem of climate change.

He's now back, with more comedic gold:

“The single-most important cause of [carbon] emissions is eating beef,” Ramesh said. “My formula is stop eating beef. This would stop the emission of [large amounts of] methane.”

Yes. All the damn emissions are because of the damn beef eaters. Stop closing those factories people, and start eating the green crap growing in your garden. If you don't have a garden, you're probably poor or live in Bombay. Either way, your life isn't that valuable. Sorry. Maybe next time, try to be born in some garden-heavy city. Preferably in the 'real India'. Where what you eat and what happens after you eat it are on display in the same field.

And Mr. Minister, I'm sure you don't have an agenda while trying to convert everyone into eating & shooting vegetables. I mean, shooting and eating vegetables. Dammit! I mean eating shoots and leaves.

A vegetarian himself, Ramesh offered a pat on the back for non-beef eaters, saying they help in “climate mitigation”.

Fuck yeah, vegetarians and non-vegetarians who don't eat beef. You just got a pat on the back from Jairam Ramesh.  THIS IS PROBABLY YOUR LIFE'S BIGGEST HONOR. Savour it and probably don't wash your back on the spot where you got patted by Uber-environ-mentalist, His Green Highness, Jairam Ramesh.

Or, on second thoughts, please wash your back. I am allergic to any kinds of smell. Thanks.

Now, wait. This is not over.

There are other things he said too:

Environment and Forest Minister Jairam Ramesh, known for making forthright comments, today said if there was any Nobel Prize for dirt and filth, India would get it.

Yes. It is a sublime tragedy indeed, your forthrightness. If only you would have been in government and were able to do something about it. Maybe they should make you a minister or something. If only your party was the party "governing" the country for the past five years. Or the one that won the election with an increased majority.

If only!!!1!

Although, my favourite part of the article is when the reporter says Mr Ramesh is known for making forthright comments.

In fact, I think, if there was a nobel prize for making forthright comments, Jairam Ramesh would get it.


WAIT! I JUST thought of ANOTHER REALLY, REALLY bright idea.

You know what will be the BEST THING for the environment?


Wait for it . . . .



If we stop publishing newspapers at all.





OhMaiGawd, I AM SO frikin' FORTHRIGHT TOO.


*Pats self on back*

*Breaks collarbone*



Green at heart? Avoid beef: Jairam [HT]
If there is a Nobel prize for filth, India will win it: Jairam Ramesh [


Vaibhav said...

Over_rated ... I disagree with you (probably for the first time) but you have got it wrong. Check out the below links - Jairam Ramesh is indeed correct in pointing out that livestock are the largest cause of green house gases.

Sonel said...

Good one.

Bittu said...

You write well, but how wonderful it would be if you also thought well. Meat eating is indeed a significant cause of climate change. Take humorous pot shots at people if you will to entertain people... but please try not to shoot the pilot of the plane you are flying in. Bittu Sahgal, Editor, Sanctuary magazine

Rakesh said...

OO (Uh Oh) - First time an editor landed on your page and she gets to read this post of yours... :(

Over Rated said...

@Vaibhav: I am not disagreeing with the fact that eating meat does lead to global warming. I feel it's disingenuous for vegetarians like Mr Ramesh to congratulate themselves on not eating meat. It's like people living in warmer climates congratulating themselves on not contributing to global warming by using electronically heated water. Almost all human activity ends up contributing to global warming, so to pick and choose certain activities like Mr Ramesh is doing, is sort of a self-destructive prophecy. Boy, I need to work on writing smaller comments! :P . . .

@Sonel: Thanks!

Over Rated said...

@Bittu: Fortunately for a lot of people, I don't think as "well" as you do, otherwise I would be a insufferable old curmudgeon too. Also, I don't travel in those heretic flying machines you call airplanes after I saw the first episode of "Lost", which is, fyi, a "program" on one of your satanic teevee channels. Also, "Bittu"? You sound like a hindi film child star from the 70's.

@Rakesh: Et tu, brute? He's probably angry because he did a fluff interview with Mr Ramesh for his "magazine" in Oct. Also, et tu, brute? :O . . .

Bittu said...

Come on guys! Give an insufferable old curmudgeon some credit for getting a rise out of you all! Truthfully? In the long run we are all dead. So in a sense, I agree. Eat drink and make Mary! Bittu

Bittu said...

By the way, if you want to take a stick to Jairam Ramesh, do it for the fact that he believes that ice will not melt in the Himalaya when temperatures rise. Check that intellectual melt down out on Google. By the way, I was a child star! You should see the home movies shot by my late father 58 years ago!

Vaibhav said...

@Over_Rated The point Jairam Ramesh was probably trying to make is that India has amongst of the lowest per-capita and per-GDP $ emission of green house gases anywhere in the world. So, Uncle Sam shouldn't expect India to share the burden while they go about in their Hummers and have their beef burgers and steaks.

If my habits cause harm to others, others are well within their rights to demand compensation. Vegetarianism isn't a feature of Indian geography - unlike the oil in Middle East (which has helped those Wahabis wreak havoc across the world by their skewed view of religion ... another story altogether) - it is a cultural feature, a choice several Indians make consciously.

P.S: I am a non-vegetarian

Over Rated said...

@Bittu: So you CAN get your point across while not sounding like a scandalized high school principle who just saw one of his students looking at a porn magazine! Yes, I did go after Mr Ramesh for his non-belief in global warming in my previous post. It was such a beef-filled delicacy that I had to go back for seconds. Also, touche on the home movies bit. Although, did they even have ELECTRICITY 58 years ago?

Over Rated said...

@Vaibhav: Actually, my belief is that I'd give up my precious non-vegetarian food, if those who follow the evil practice of vegetarianism basically stop living in their modern homes which are filled with gadgets and move to mao-ist infested jungles where they can feast everyday on berries and wild rats.

Also, I agree with Jairam on the emissions front. India is not even a spot of speck on the the emissions that have been coming from the so called "developed" countries ( which is funny because when you look at a republican, you rarely think "developed".)for the past few centuries. Also, GEORGE BUSH BROKE THE WORLD.

ameer said...

u r a good man.....