Dr. Singh goes to Washington

Even though Prime Minister Singh and Mrs Kaur would have rather stayed at home with the Obamas and enjoy Michelle's world-famous Pecan Pie after playing a game of charades, President Obama threw together a fancy-schmancy dinner party for the leader of the ghee world along with 400 other distinguished guests and Joe Biden.

The toast given by both were short and sweet. Obama quoted Nehru and Singh quoted Lincoln. Even though everyone knew that both of them got some underpaid assistant to copy that from Wikipedia, both were applauded for their knowledge of each other's culture. Although, Obama won this competition because he welcomed everybody in hindi. And you know how we macacaz simply go all crazy when someone foreign speaks in one of our languages. You could almost hear the Prime Minister mumbling in his head "Oh Barack, you complete me!!".

After the speeches were over the guests dug into scrumptious potato and eggplant salad (ugh) and roasted potato dumplings in tomato chutney (double ugh. Although, CHUTNEY!). There was this weird moment when they announced that they would be serving Pumpkin Pie Tart which made everyone look towards the stage because they thought it was the cue for Sarah Palin to do some dramatic reading from her new book which has replaced the bible as the biggest selling book of all time. Which did not happen because Sarah Palin went rogue and was stuffing her face with good ol' American turkey in some good ol' city in the "real" America. No self-respecting hockey mom would be caught dead in a elitist state dinner full of stuffy east coast liberals eating hippie food like chickpeas and okra.

Everyone was dressed in their elegant best and supposedly the flower arrangements around the tables were a homage to the Indian peacock. Which begs the question, what happened to the Indian peacock?

The guests were an eclectic mix of people from the fields of politics, business and entertainment, none of whom would be caught dead in a reality show.

There were many Indian-Americans and Indian-Indians among the guests. There was Obama's weed czar, Kal "Kumar" Penn, America's favourite sweetheart surgeon Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Louisiana Governor and spelling bee champion Bobby Jindal, who was regaling everyone with his unintentional impression of Kenneth the Page from 30 Rock. While Fareed Zakaria and Rajiv Chandershakeran were making Zardari jokes, Ratan Tata and Mukesh Ambani were probably eyeing each other suspiciously. Also spotted was Jhumpa Lahri, making furious notes on a napkin about a new story in which the son of a Bengali immigrant in America gets elected to the highest office in the world,  as the host of the Oprah Winfrey show.  Nobel laureate Amratya Sen was heard explaining his idea of justice for millions of downtrodden people to Deepak Chopra. Deepak then explained to Amratya that  hunger is a man-made desire which can easily be overcome by subscribing to the new (& improved) patented personal program, The Deepak Chopra 12 New Yoga Positions to Eliminate Hunger. M. Night Shayamalam and his wife were eating the PB & J sandwiches they brought from home because Night doesn't trust anyone. Anyone. Airtel honcho Sunil Mittal was seen going out of the tent to take a call, because his phone wasn't getting any signals inside. He then kept asking the caller whether they could hear him now! Steven Spielberg, who is now an honorary Indian-American because he is property of Anil Ambani, was also there, probably discussing with Pepsi honcho Indira Nooyi about making a bi-lingual biopic about her life.

There were also a lot of distinguished American-Americans present at the dinner. There was Colin Powell, telling anyone who would lend him an ear about how he was tricked into lying at the UN. All three of the Pelosis were also in attendance. Nancy, Paul and Nancy's face were just like a family. Uber-producer David Geffen was also there, with his partner, Jeffery Katzenberg. Although Mrs. Kaur kept referring to Jeffery as David's "roommate", accompanied by a wink. And since Oprah could not make it, she sent her "roommate" *wink, wink*, Gayle King.

It was not all fun & games. There was also important state business conducted at the dinner. Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel was heard teaching National Security Advisor MK Narayanan on how to intimidate your subordinates by alternating between starving them and calling them MoFo's. External affairs minister SM Krishna and Secretary Clinton both agreed that if newly sworn in Afghanistan President Hamid Karzai wants to be taken seriously, he has to ditch that damn Harlem pimp coat he never leaves home without.

The entertainment was provided by Jennifer Hudson and AR Rahman, among others. Adam Lambert's appearance was cancelled at the last minute because having more then two gay people in attendance would alienate one of Obama's core constituency, rednecks & retards.

It was a fun evening for those attending although some people were disappointed that Katie Couric didn't get drunk enough to start doing her thang. There was just one awkward moment when Joe Biden asked Prime Minister Singh to help him with those pesky pop-ups he gets everytime he tries to send an email. To shut Joe up, President Obama kneed him on the "Bidens" and he was taken away by the secret service to be put back into his cage. Obama then reassured a visibly shaken Dr. Singh not to worry because that was just Joe being Joe.

As they say, all's well that ends with Joe Biden shooting his mouth.

 

State Dinner Menu [Gawker]
State Dinner Guest list [HuffPo]
Manmohan/Obama toast [HuffPo]

Photo Credit: The Daily Beast

The beagle has landed: Part 2

Washington DC's current "rainy, chilly" weather is supposed to be a metaphor (boy, this word has been overused in the past few days, hasn't it?) for the current thaw between Indo-US relations. In short, the weather has gone rogue! 9expect more of that too!)

Anyways, here is former Professor Barack Obama welcoming former Professor Manmohan Singh to the White House.

I never attended a lot of classes in my time, but let me just say this, I would have gone to sleep during Manmohan Singh lectures.

Just sayin.

Hold the phone shylock because Rahul Gandhi just made an important discovery

Our next king and emperor, the scion of our country's "first family", the personification of all that is pure in this world, the apple of every mother's eye, Lord Rahul Gandhi has just made a discovery by reading the December 2000 issue of DUH magazine which has eluded millions and millions of people before him. 

India has two sides, the urban and developed and the rural and underdeveloped, Congress general secretary Rahul Gandhi said here today.

"There exists two Indias -- one in towns and cities with highrise buildings, computers, cars and modern gadgets, and the other in rural areas, still underdeveloped for lack of facilities and opportunities," Gandhi told a rally to thank the people for voting back the Congress to power in the state of Arunachal Pradesh.

Oh My God! Why has no one else thought of this before?

Dammit! As they say, when you lose something, it's always at the LAST PLACE YOU LOOK. If only someone had thought of checking inside Rahul Gandhi's head.

However, now that we know, EVERYTHING's going to be okay. Because Rahul Gandhi is ON THE CASE. And as you know, when Rahul Gandhi is on a case, he ALWAYS SOLVES IT. He's like that guy from those uppity Arthur Conan Doyle novels.

"I took a British minister to the villages some time back to show him the strength of the people of rural India, as they were making use of the opportunities offered to them by the NREGA and the waiving of loans," he said.

"But I was criticised by the BJP, which alleged that I was showing the poverty of the country to a minister from a foreign country," he said.

Yes, because the BJP in it's infinite wisdom thinks that if you IGNORE something completely, it will go away. That is the reason no one in the BJP is talking to Rajnath Singh anymore. Someone should memo them and let them know that this doesn't work. Have they even seen Bigg Boss?

Anyways, I'm sure the "minister from a foreign country" knows that there are a few dozen poor people in India, because he must have seen Slumdog Millionaire.

It is heartening to know that his highness will be our next "Dear Leader". I feel optimistic about the country's future already.

Jai Ho!

India has two sides, developed and underdeveloped, says Rahul Gandhi [DNA]

[Hat Tip: Iyer Deepak]

The beagle has landed

 
Manmohan, dude, could you at least get your safari suit dry cleaned?

 

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh arrived in Washington on Sunday afternoon, for a five day "state" visit. Now, no one really knows what a state visit means, but everyone agrees it's sort of important, like the American Idol season finale or Tyra Banks opinion on America's Next Top Model.

Let's see what the demi-gods of our times, the conscious keepers of our nation, those wonderful people who tell you what you need to think, journalists are saying:

DNA wants our jumpy foreign office to stop being so paranoid:

Serious strains in Sino-US relations are showing up barely days after US president Barack Obama concluded a conciliatory visit to China, and ahead of Singh's visit to the US. These belie the paranoid perception from New Delhi that an emerging Washington-Beijing entente is selling India's interests short. In particular, a paragraph in the Sino-US joint statement at the conclusion of Obama's visit, which commits the two countries to promoting peace in South Asia, has given rise to much Indian angst over China being given a "policing role" over Indo-Pakistan relations.

Some analysts caution against the risk of investing too much authority to sentiments reflected in joint statements. "A joint statement is less binding than, say, a joint declaration," points out Pang Zhongying, professor of international relations at Renmin University in Beijing. "If the two sides were sure they wanted to work together, they would have issued a declaration."

Dude, didja forget that our whole foreign policy is based on paranoia? Most of the people in our ministry of external affairs are only seen in public when we have to denounce a statement made by some crazy fuck in Pakistan or some godforsaken "newspaper" in China. But, hey, if it is already broken, why even try to fix it?

Our ambassador to the US, Meera Shankar, thinks that India wants Indo-US ties to be more than just a B2B relationship:

. . . defence relations have seen steady progress as an important aspect of the strategic partnership. Our Defence Policy Group (DPG) and its sub-groups, which meet annually, have acquired substance and depth in their deliberations. There has been an increase in the interaction between our armed forces. All our three services now conduct annual exercises with their US counterparts. At the same time, we are also looking at the US as one of the possible suppliers of weapon systems as we continue to modernize our armed forces. We would like the relationship not just to be limited to a buyer-seller relationship but also to move into areas of joint development and transfer of technology. Our armed forces are also cooperating in areas such as maritime security, which is vital to economic and national interests of both our countries.

Yay. Both our armed forces are ready to take on China the minute the US repays back all the money it owes to home of the dragon.

The US and India will also be signing a pact to cooperate on 'counter-terrorism':

US and India will sign a pact on intelligence sharing and counter-terrorism during the Prime Minister's visit, one of nearly a dozen agreements to be inked during the visit. Details of the pact are not being disclosed yet, but such was the importance of the agreement that CIA Director Leon Panetta flew down to New Delhi last week to discuss details with his Indian counterparts before the fine print could be drawn up. The agreement could involve exchanging and stationing more intelligence personnel in the two countries, including mobile units, to facilitate better interaction.
Initiative for the intelligence upgrade, including ''technical means,'' has come from the US side after Washington finally realized the fallacy of distinguishing Pakistani terrorist groups such as Lashkar-e-Taiba from al-Qaida, a grasp that has been brought home by the latest episode involving the terror suspect duo of Tawassur Rana and Daood Gilani aka David Headley.

Does this mean our guys get to ask Rana why he was metaphorically sodomizing Rahul Bhatt?

Now, there are some people who borrow a page from the Obama campaign and lower expectations:

When Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and his team land at the Andrews Air Force Base in nearby Maryland on Sunday afternoon (early Monday in India) for the first state visited hosted by the Obama administration, they will find a capital region that is bathed in sunshine, although there is a nip in the air that presages winter, and trees are devoid of foliage, autumn having been swept out.

[snip]

However, circumspection is expected to be the order of the day, even though if you go by the fact that this is Singh’s second state visit and the third hosted for India in less than a decade (more than any other country), you’d think the two countries are more than just natural allies or strategic partners . While there is an element of security in the bilateral relationship, India and the US are not allies in the conventional sense and are not likely to be so any time soon, says Walter Anderson, a veteran South Asia hand. His advice: "India will have to formulate its own strategy vis-a-vis its neighbourhood devoid of any unrealistic expectations from Washington, despite the perceived closeness.’’

For a minute there, I thought I was in an Indian novel, with the talk of all the sunshine and the foliage. Before this, I used to think I was the world's worst metaphor writer. Clearly, someone has me beat. 

Now, if for a minute, have you ever wondered how this visit would have been reported in the Soviet Union fifty years ago? Well, if you have, this is your lucky day, because our second most favourite insufferable old curmudgeon, Prakash Karat, answers your question:

The Communist Party of India (Marxist) on Sunday warned the United Progressive Alliance government against allying with the U.S.-led NATO forces in Afghanistan and promised to launch joint struggles with its counterparts in the region against increasing American intervention in South Asia.

[snip]

“We have to continue our struggle against capitalism, put an end to it and establish socialism as the real alternative. At the same time, we also oppose the India-U.S. strategic ties — economic and military,” Mr. Karat said at a public rally at the end of the 11th International Meet of Communist and Workers Parties here.

Where do I even begin? Oh, Prakash. In case you had been asleep for the past twenty years, in the whole decades long football match between socialism and capitalism, the scoreboard stands as, Capitalism - 1, Socialism - 0. Even though capitalism is now crony capitalism, it's evil twin, your system still sucked. Also, fyi, you lost the election. So, please have a nice, warm cup of green tea from China.

Now lets see what the thought leaders on the other side of the pond are thinking. One wonders whether they would be as excited about the visit as much as our own press is.

Since not much of the American press is covering this right now, let's turn our attention to the Times UK, for how the Obama administration is preparing for the Indian PM's visit:

The first dinner party in a new house is a test for every hostess and an awkward eater is the last thing she needs. In Michelle Obama’s case, not only is her first guest of honour an abstemious vegetarian, but the whole world will be watching.

On Tuesday the Obamas host their first state banquet since taking office in January. After the staid years of President George W Bush, who liked to be in bed by 9pm, Washington is desperate for some glamour.

“Official Washington is hungry for this — it’s an important moment,” said Robert Watson, author of American First Ladies and associate professor of American studies at Lynn University, Florida. “It’s a test for Michelle. Every detail will be looked at, from the menu to the guest list, to who’s sitting next to whom. One faux pas and the critics will pounce.”

As the youngest White House family since the Kennedys, the Obamas draw inevitable comparisons. Everyone will be watching to see how Michelle ranks against Jackie.

OMG, did someone remember to send an e-vite to Manmohan?

However, Politico has WON THE DAY, by it's superb coverage of the state visit.

Looks like former President Clinton won't be attending:

Former President Bill Clinton did snag an invite to the White House state dinner on Tuesday, but he won’t be there with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

It’s not a case of “Been there, done that” for Clinton, though he hosted 30 state dinners of his own. Clinton just has other plans. “He’ll be at previously scheduled events in New York,” Matt McKenna, Clinton’s spokesman, told POLITICO.

Well, just get invite a young woman who is on the healthier side. I am sure that Mr Clinton's schedule would 'suddenly' open up.

Now, since Bill isn't going to be there, Mr Hollywood himself, Ari Emanuel, is going to make up for his absence:

Hollywood super-agent Ari Emanuel (and brother to White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel) is expected to be at the White House Tuesday evening for the Obamas' first state dinner.

[snip]

Ari Emanuel won't be the only one from Tinseltown at 1600 Pennsylvania on Tuesday. POLITICO confirmed late last week that Hollywood director M. Night Shyamalan will also attend the dinner.

Although, to be fair, Shyamlan's appearance at the dinner will likely be a blink-and-you-miss-it cameo. And, now that he's there, look for something really paranoid and boring to happen, simultaneously.

There were originally supposed to be 400 guests at the banquet. However, since EVERYONE in the WHOLE WORLD basically wants to be there, the banquet will now consist of 600 guests. The only criteria is that you should have some kind of remote connection to India. Cause, for this banquet, brown seems to be the new black.

 

Photo Credit: The Magalorean

Manmohan Singh to visit the US to have awkward conversations of epic proportions

Now that President Obama is all grown up and is allowed to have friends over for the whole night,  he couldn't have invited a guest more polite than Manmohan Singh. Mr Singh probably never leaves wet towels lying around, makes his own bed and would rather starve than raid the host's fridge at midnight. Also, I think he would bring a better gift than the usual ferrero rocher chocolates that the other guests bring.

Anyways, as luck would have it, the Indian PM is Obama's first "official state guest". Ha ha, suck on that, Japan. Obama may bow down to your make-believe emperor, but he's only got eyes for the land of karma. This has impressed all our bureaucrats at South Block and our journalists, because both these groups of people have hearts of little teenage girls and all they want is for someone to make them feel special and whisper sweet nothings into their ear. Over the next few weeks, we will see countless panel discussions and read a zillion articles on how the US has finally de-hyphenated the South Asia desk and now simply hyphenates both Afghanistan & Pakistan together, affectionately referring to both those countries as Clusterfuckistan. This must mean that we finally get to play in the same room as the five veto-powered 'superpowers' whenever one of our schoolchildren visit the UN. We now probably have the same power over the other countries of the world that the BCCI has over the ICC. Pretty soon we will have our own little domestic United Nations, based on the IPL, which we can let Shashi Tharoor head so that he finally gets his childhood wish fulfilled.

However, sadly, this might never come true. That's because due to some unforeseen circumstances like reality, the US and India don't really have a lot of common goals anymore. Both countries view the world with a different prism. The US wants the rest of the world to call it Zen Master Popeye and India just wants everyone to get along and watch musical movies which make no sense unless you suspend logical thinking completely.

There are other tight 'knots' in this friendship band too. The US continues to fight the war on terror on two wrong fronts, while ignoring the real root of the problem in Pakistan. The US also want India & Pakistan to resolve the Kashmir issue which New Delhi doesn't see happening anytime soon, because in reality there is no one in the Pakistani establishment who sees a benefit in making peace with India and no one in the Indian government has hypnotic powers.

Both India and the US are on different sides on the issue of reducing carbon emissions. There doesn't seem to be an urgency in India to 'save the environment' because (a) There are very few out and open Lesbian-hippies in India and (b) the Indian news channels haven't yet shown a "news" report about the environment accompanied by scary, armageddonesque music. So we focus on other pressing issues of the day, like reality shows. 

The only thing India and the US really sorta agree on is the Indo-US nuclear deal, which, it seems, hasn't really been completed yet. Although we've signed agreements for civilian nuclear power with other members of the NSG like France, Russia and Canada. Canada! The Indo-US nuclear deal is like the worst will-they, won't they sitcom storyline ever.

So when President Obama and Prime Minister Singh sit down mano-a-mano to talk business, the conversation will be quite similar to the conversation that parents of an inter-religious couple have when they meet for the first time. They will skip anything which may reek of controversy and try to convince each other that all they want is for their children to be happy.

However, that's not going to deter both parties from praising each other's 'leadership' and how they see a 'new beginning' in this 'important' relationship between the world's largest and biggest democracies, and how together they can work towards solving problems like climate change, terrorism and preventing Twilight and Harry Potter fans from mating.

Of course this will impress a lot of people. But unlike real teenage girls, our metaphorical ones forget to learn life's most important lesson: If Colin Farrell replies to your blood-stained letter in which you confess your true and eternal love for him with a generic "Dear Fan" boilerplate, then, he's just not that into you.

That, and how you always get a zit whenever you have an important date.

 

Damn, looks like I really need to stop watching Drew Barrymore movies. It's kind of affecting my mixed metaphors!

Somebody please give Jairam Ramesh his own show. Please.

 
Look, my hair has 0% dandruff. Geddit?

 

Say what you want to, but UPA: Season 2 is beginning to sound more fun than the first one. At first, the only comedic stars to emerge from this comedy classic were Shashi "Tweety" Tharoor, A "What's your spectrum?" Raja and VK "Imma Lawwwya" Moily. However, thanks to the writers of the UPA show, another great comedic superstar is now emerging from the shadows.

Usually only known for his really well styled hair (I know, but this joke is still funny to me.), he was last spotted solving the problem of climate change.

He's now back, with more comedic gold:

“The single-most important cause of [carbon] emissions is eating beef,” Ramesh said. “My formula is stop eating beef. This would stop the emission of [large amounts of] methane.”

Yes. All the damn emissions are because of the damn beef eaters. Stop closing those factories people, and start eating the green crap growing in your garden. If you don't have a garden, you're probably poor or live in Bombay. Either way, your life isn't that valuable. Sorry. Maybe next time, try to be born in some garden-heavy city. Preferably in the 'real India'. Where what you eat and what happens after you eat it are on display in the same field.

And Mr. Minister, I'm sure you don't have an agenda while trying to convert everyone into eating & shooting vegetables. I mean, shooting and eating vegetables. Dammit! I mean eating shoots and leaves.

A vegetarian himself, Ramesh offered a pat on the back for non-beef eaters, saying they help in “climate mitigation”.

Fuck yeah, vegetarians and non-vegetarians who don't eat beef. You just got a pat on the back from Jairam Ramesh.  THIS IS PROBABLY YOUR LIFE'S BIGGEST HONOR. Savour it and probably don't wash your back on the spot where you got patted by Uber-environ-mentalist, His Green Highness, Jairam Ramesh.

Or, on second thoughts, please wash your back. I am allergic to any kinds of smell. Thanks.

Now, wait. This is not over.

There are other things he said too:

Environment and Forest Minister Jairam Ramesh, known for making forthright comments, today said if there was any Nobel Prize for dirt and filth, India would get it.

Yes. It is a sublime tragedy indeed, your forthrightness. If only you would have been in government and were able to do something about it. Maybe they should make you a minister or something. If only your party was the party "governing" the country for the past five years. Or the one that won the election with an increased majority.

If only!!!1!

Although, my favourite part of the article is when the reporter says Mr Ramesh is known for making forthright comments.

In fact, I think, if there was a nobel prize for making forthright comments, Jairam Ramesh would get it.

 

WAIT! I JUST thought of ANOTHER REALLY, REALLY bright idea.

You know what will be the BEST THING for the environment?

 

Wait for it . . . .

 

 

If we stop publishing newspapers at all.

Because, MORE NEWSPAPERS = MORE NEWS REPORTERS

And, MORE NEWS REPORTERS = LOTS OF HOT AIR BLOWN UP PEOPLE'S ASSES

Finally, LOTS OF HOT AIR BLOWN UP PEOPLE'S ASSES = GLOBAL WARMING

 

OhMaiGawd, I AM SO frikin' FORTHRIGHT TOO.

 

*Pats self on back*

*Breaks collarbone*

*Whatever*

 

Green at heart? Avoid beef: Jairam [HT]
If there is a Nobel prize for filth, India will win it: Jairam Ramesh [TOI]

India's environment minister will not believe any stupid scientific fact about global warming

India's Minister of Environment, Jairam Ramesh, who is also the first Cabinet rank minister in India to have an openly-Lesbian hairdo, has been hard at work during the past few months trying to come up with a coherent policy for prevention of climate change while continuously listening to the Madonna song "4 Minutes" on his iPod.

So let's check in and see how that seems to be going:

For the first time, the Indian government has challenged western research that says global warming has hastened the melting of Himalayan glaciers. On Monday, environment and forests minister Jairam Ramesh released a paper saying there was no evidence of such a link.

. . .

“The health of Himalayan glaciers is poor,” Ramesh said. “But according to the paper, the doomsday prediction of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) and Al Gore is also not correct. I want scientists to critique the report.”

Hooray, everyone!

There is no global warming. That's all a myth that has been perpetuated by those gay hippies and that giant talking carbon footprint people refer to as Al Gore. There must be some other reason why all those cities in Southern Andhra Pradesh and Karnataka  look like large, open-air aquariums.

And those effing glaciers? They probably melted because of the heat generated by the poster of Kareena Kapoor with Saggy McManboobs.

And what do these environmental terrorists known as the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change know anyway?

The IPCC and Gore, a former US vice-president, were jointly awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 2007.

The government’s view goes against the IPCC’s claims that most Himalayan glaciers will vanish by 2035.

“Our prediction [in 2007] was based on government data, and a peer review was done by all countries before our report was released,” IPCC chief R.K. Pachauri said.

. . .

The IPCC’s forecast was based on Indian Space Research Organisation data that said 1,000 Himalayan glaciers had retreated by 16 per cent between 1962 and 2004.

Yeah those commies who run the nobel prize thing award these prizes for doing nothing anyway. And ISRO, those moon geeks went looking for water on the moon when they could have easily bought it at the Moon Starbucks for $50 a pop. 

Pachauri, who is also chairman of the UN's intergovernmental panel on climate change (IPCC), said the report prepared by geologist VK Raina was based on "insufficient data" and "unsubstantiated observations" made over a small two-year period.

While Pachauri was not in town, a Teri spokesperson said he disagreed with Raina's findings which flew in the face of well-researched and documented studies by thousands of IPCC scientists.

Pachauri pointed out that Raina's research was still to be reviewed and authenticated by peers. "It is like schoolboy science," he said. Teri glaciologist Shresth Tayal questioned Raina's conclusion that the melting of the Gangotri glacier had "come to a stand still". He said, "If rain is scarce for two years, can one say drought is here forever?"

Certain aspects of Raina's study were self-contradictory, Tayal said. For example, it claims that glaciers in western Himalayas are melting faster but also says the Siachen glacier is advancing. Even the conclusion that glacier melting is more pronounced in western Himalayas than eastern Himalayas was wrong, Tayal pointed out.

"Our research shows all lakes formed by melting of glaciers are in eastern Himalayas. A glacier in Sikkim, East Rathong, has reportedly lost over 80% of its mass. No one has recorded a glacial lake in western Himalayas," he said.

OH MY GOD. He didn't just say that. You can take your "thousands of scientists" and get stuffed, Pachuri. C'mon, Raina. Don't let him get away with this. Tell him to "unsubstanciate" his whatchamacallit.

“Nothing abnormal is happening to Indian glaciers,” said Raina. “They’re retreating because of negative mass balance. There’s no evidence of climate change.”

Mass balance is primarily determined by annual snow precipitation. Raina could not give reasons for the decrease in snowfall in the Himalayas. “It is for the weather departments to tell,” he said.

Sigh.

 

Ramesh says Himalayan glaciers not melting, PM's adviser says rubbish [DNA]
No proof of Himalayan ice melting due to climate change [TOI]
Government quells panic over Himalayan glacial melt [HT]
Kareena talks about bareback shot in Kurbaan [Total Filmy]