Tuesday, September 1, 2009

If we didn't have Jackie Shroff movies, there would be no point of reference to use for comparison with terrible things

The leaner and meaner version of the UPA has completed 100 days into it's second term. Coincidently, it's performance is as bad as the 1991 movie, 100 Days. The last time I saw such bad results, I was looking at my Class 12 marksheet. [Indian Express]

The Australian deputy Prime Minister tries her best to convince weary Indians that Australia is a safe and welcoming place, just like Sarah Palin's womb. [TOI]

Arjun Rampal opens a restaurant in Delhi. In honour of its owner, the restaurant will serve just one type of cocktail and everything on the menu will be overcooked and will taste the same. [IBN Live]

Trillions of dollars of ill-gotten money, which rightly belongs to the Indian government, lies in limbo in Swiss Banks because most of the shady characters who have been killed by Inspector Vijay failed to mention to their kith and kin that they might have terribly large sums of money hidden safely in their uber-evil Swiss bank accounts. In fact, if we could get back all that money, we could build so many statues that a certain Chief Minister's head would explode. [The Hindu]

A magazine in Germany came up with a fake "Michael Jackson is alive" video and posted it on the web. Minutes later the video went viral and everybody was convinced that MJ was part of the undead, much like the Zombie he portrayed in his Thriller video. Turns out, they just wanted to prove that people will believe anything. My theory is that MJ is still alive and has been recruited by the secret shadow Kenyan crime syndicate which planned Obama's socialist presidency about 50 years ago. There, I said it, no matter what personal price I have to pay. FYI, if I suddenly disappear, you know who to blame. [CNN]

Disney Inc. has just bought Marvel Comics. I'm not saying that this will ruin marvel comics, but in the sequel to this year's Wolverine, the self-healing mutant of Canadian-origin spends the first half of the movie trying to find Donald Duck's pants. [NYT]

They have got to come up with a better naming system for hurricanes. I mean, Hurricane Jimena? Are you fucking kidding me? That doesn't sound scary enough. It sounds less like an intense storm and more like what happens to your stomach after you happen to "accidentally" overeat at Taco Bell. [LA Times]


Anonymous said...

the self-healing mutant of Canadian-origin spends the first half of the movie trying to find Donald Duck's pants.


..i think this one-line-ish method of (news!-)reporting is pretty sauve. your one-liners describe the story so aptly, i've never really felt the need to click on the links you provide alongside ;)

Anonymous said...

sarah palin's womb? I thought it was her daughter who was err... welcoming.

Arjun Rampal - lol

yeah arayan, these are all fab. twitter posts rolled together :)

Anonymous said...

I would like to go Arjun Rampal's restaurant....
and yes UPA's century doesn't did well to the country..

btw.. a very nice way of reporting new...I appreciate your analysis power...

I have blogrolled you!!

RukmaniRam said...

Ooh goody. Recycled is always better. Apparently even when it comes to news.

Tazeen said...

Sarah Palin's womb


Over Rated said...

@Arayan: Thanks!! Yes, this suits me fine too! Because I can't seem to think beyond short sentences anymore!!

@Rakesh: Actually, all Palin wombs are welcoming. And yes, these are all posts which are too big for twitter!! :P

@RS: Thank you! Well, right now, SRK seems to be eating everything Arjun Rampal's restaurant has on offer!!

@Rukmani: Well, I do believe in recycling. Specially, jokes.

@Tazeen: Lol, I know!!