New rules: People who need to have a nice warm cup of STFU
People with news born kids:
Unless you are my brother or sister, stop trying to tell me how cute your kid is. I may fake an "Awwwwww" but I really coudn't give a rat's ass. No, I Don't need to be woken up at 3 AM because your kid is rapping out the alphabet. And no, I don't think it is funny that you kid mispronounces his name. In my book, he's gonna be a retard. Unless baby's first word consists of the F-bomb, I really am not interested.
People with nosy questions:
Just because you know my parents does not give you the right to question me. No, I don't think I should get married and I don't think I should look for a job with another company. I really don't care what you think constitutes good behavior. The only reason that I don't hit you is cause you know my parents. Though one of these days, I might forget that.
People who send the same wishes by SMS:
People need to stop sending the same message every year for all the occasions. I'm tired of reading the "let me wish you before the network gets jammed" message for Holi, Diwali, New Year's, Christmas, St Patrick's Day. No, don't send me the list of alcohol brands listed alphabetically. It does not mean that you're funny. It shows that (a) you're a closet alcoholic and (b) you don't have an original brain in your body. Next time a brain fart sends me a teddy which will stay in my inbox till 12.00 am is going to get an earful. Seriously.
News channels who dedicate hour long segments to the great khali:
Stop spoiling my favorite sport. Khali is the worst wrestler in the world and the only reason he is even in the WWE is because he is a freak show. He can't speak English to save his life and even when he speaks punjabi/hindi he is incomprehensible. So news channels who show reports about Khehli (what they call him) should be banned. Stop trying to act like Khali is the equivalent of the Tata-Jaguar deal. He's just a effing freak show. The only reason he became champion was because EVERYONE else was injured. He does not deserve to even be in a WWE ring. So stop trying to present him as India's next greatest conquerer. And everyone please stop showing the year old clips of him winning the championship. He ain't ever gonna win again, no matter how many havans there are on the banks of the ganges. And please stop saying wrestlemania is the grandaddy of em' all. I know. When I hear an Indian reporter say it in his hinglish accent, a part of me dies. So please, go back to ignoring wrestling and I can go back to watching it without having "khelieh is going to win at the grannddd-dadeeeh of them AAAll" ringing in my head.
People with Kids living overseas:
People with kids living overseas should really need to stop telling me how different things there are. Yes, I know they don't have any servants there. Yes I know both your child and their wives/husbands/mistresses have jobs which keep them out of the house for more than 12 hours. I know that. I know things are different there. How? It's a different country. Furthermore, unless he is sending me part of the million dollars per year he makes, I really don't give a flying fuck. Thanks.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
So, Tibet is still violent. Meanwhile, the Dalai Lama has threatened to resign from his post if the violence does not stop. WOW!! If the resignation of a leader of a government exiled 50 years ago and having no real powers doesn't stop the people from fighting for their independence, I don't know what will.
And Nancy Pelosi visited the Dalai Lama. By God, that woman will use any excuse to hop on a plane.
Meanwhile, President Bush said, "We need to being Democracy to Tibet". When the people in Lhasa heard this, they said "Screw it!! .... Let's go with the Chinese!!" ......
To be fair, when Bush learned that Tibet has no Oil, he immediately dropped any plans (use the words loosely) to liberate Tibet from the evil Chinese President, Hu Manchurian.
He also wanted the Chinese to give back Tibet to the Government of the DA-LA Bamba.
***************
In other news, President Musharraf said that he actually bought real democracy to Pakistan. Uh-ok military dictator, I agree. When you took over, there were two political families running the show and now ....... errr..uh..ahem..... let's see ....er...... still the same. WTF!!
Two presidents, champions of democracy. Bush and Musharraf. Imagine a world without them!! Kinda boring and undemocratic isn't it?
***************
Meanwhile, the Indian left had no reaction to the crisis in Tibet. I mean it's pretty hard to talk while you're bending over waiting for China to give you an orgasm.
The Indian right, meanwhile was busy sleeping.... I mean reading Dr. Advani's book.
I'm not saying that book is boring, but Deve Gowda just looked at it and dozed off.
***************
With so much going on in the world, it was good to see the Indian press focused on the right issue, i.e. How would the Bachans would celebrate holi? Would they or wouldn't they? And in case you missed this great debate on television, you have the national newspapers who have the real scoop: They didn't!! OH-MAI-GOD!!!
***************
The health minister wants to put pictorial warnings on Cigarette packs. That is going to be one effective measure. Me thinks this is a good idea.
But why stop with that? We could do this for so many other products? Alcohol. Drugs. Condoms. One side of the condom pack could have a couple doing it without a condom and the other side would the guy marrying the woman he got knocked up.
Hell, I think even politicians should come with a warning label!!!
****************
In the film Roadside Romeo, Kareena Kapoor is playing a bitch. Insert your own joke here. I'm still laughing ......... It's good too see her put another one of her real life talents to use ... just like she was able to do in Chameli .......
****************
Pamela Anderson is getting divorced again. Awwwwww.... She got married to they guy who was in the video tape with Paris Hilton. A really sad day for porn fans. I mean .....it's ok. They both wanted to make tapes with other people.
****************
And Nancy Pelosi visited the Dalai Lama. By God, that woman will use any excuse to hop on a plane.
Meanwhile, President Bush said, "We need to being Democracy to Tibet". When the people in Lhasa heard this, they said "Screw it!! .... Let's go with the Chinese!!" ......
To be fair, when Bush learned that Tibet has no Oil, he immediately dropped any plans (use the words loosely) to liberate Tibet from the evil Chinese President, Hu Manchurian.
He also wanted the Chinese to give back Tibet to the Government of the DA-LA Bamba.
***************
In other news, President Musharraf said that he actually bought real democracy to Pakistan. Uh-ok military dictator, I agree. When you took over, there were two political families running the show and now ....... errr..uh..ahem..... let's see ....er...... still the same. WTF!!
Two presidents, champions of democracy. Bush and Musharraf. Imagine a world without them!! Kinda boring and undemocratic isn't it?
***************
Meanwhile, the Indian left had no reaction to the crisis in Tibet. I mean it's pretty hard to talk while you're bending over waiting for China to give you an orgasm.
The Indian right, meanwhile was busy sleeping.... I mean reading Dr. Advani's book.
I'm not saying that book is boring, but Deve Gowda just looked at it and dozed off.
***************
With so much going on in the world, it was good to see the Indian press focused on the right issue, i.e. How would the Bachans would celebrate holi? Would they or wouldn't they? And in case you missed this great debate on television, you have the national newspapers who have the real scoop: They didn't!! OH-MAI-GOD!!!
***************
The health minister wants to put pictorial warnings on Cigarette packs. That is going to be one effective measure. Me thinks this is a good idea.
But why stop with that? We could do this for so many other products? Alcohol. Drugs. Condoms. One side of the condom pack could have a couple doing it without a condom and the other side would the guy marrying the woman he got knocked up.
Hell, I think even politicians should come with a warning label!!!
****************
In the film Roadside Romeo, Kareena Kapoor is playing a bitch. Insert your own joke here. I'm still laughing ......... It's good too see her put another one of her real life talents to use ... just like she was able to do in Chameli .......
****************
Pamela Anderson is getting divorced again. Awwwwww.... She got married to they guy who was in the video tape with Paris Hilton. A really sad day for porn fans. I mean .....it's ok. They both wanted to make tapes with other people.
****************
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Let's watch Cricket while Tibet burns .....
Another day, another faux paux by our government. I'm talking about arresting Tibetan protesters. I thought we were a democracy. People are allowed to protest. So, only if you aren't Tibetan. It's not that I am a big fan of the Dalai Lama or anything, but the way the Tibetan protesters were treated by the Indian police is horrendous. Just because they are not affiliated to any political party and are not protesting for reservation, does not mean that they have a valid point.
The attitude of the police all over Indian has been nothing short of autocratic. I was reading an article in the mecca of journalism, the Times of India, where a police office says that:
Just because we have this hush-hush wink-wink deal with China does not mean that we should not allow the Tibetans to protest against the lead-poisoning Asian giant. What gets to me more is that we Indians are not affected by it at all. We are okay with our Government doing to other people what the British did to us half a century ago. We get more angry when Symonds calls Harbhajan an obnoxious little weed. That's murder. That hurts our Indian pride. However, seeing peaceful democratic protesters being treated like terrorists does not affect us. Nobody actually comes out and gives a shit.
Our esteemed external affairs minister, Pranab Mukhrjee, has released the following statement:
The attitude of the police all over Indian has been nothing short of autocratic. I was reading an article in the mecca of journalism, the Times of India, where a police office says that:
Meanwhile, in the area around Majnu Ka Tila, sub-inspector Rakesh Khari headed a large team of police personnel outside the colony. A riot control van was stationed nearby to check protesters in case they got violent. "A group of angry protesters tried to block the highway last night. We cannot allow any activity that would disrupt normalcy,"said Khari.Yes. Mr Khari, a group of angry protesters should not be allowed to disrupt normal activities. However, in case they are protesting about Jodha Akbar, they are allowed to disrupt normal activities. You can look the other way. But how dare do they protest about something as insignificant as independence. How dare they presume that they have a right to free speech? How dare do they presume that a country that was fighting unjust occupation a little over sixty years ago would understand their struggle. Yes Mr. Khari, those fuckers are wrong. They should just sit around and watch their biggest oppressor being given a collective blow job by the Indian Left and the west. They should stick to doing what they know best; selling Chicken Manchurian (which is not even remotely manchurian by the way) and overpriced electronic goods made in Korea.
Just because we have this hush-hush wink-wink deal with China does not mean that we should not allow the Tibetans to protest against the lead-poisoning Asian giant. What gets to me more is that we Indians are not affected by it at all. We are okay with our Government doing to other people what the British did to us half a century ago. We get more angry when Symonds calls Harbhajan an obnoxious little weed. That's murder. That hurts our Indian pride. However, seeing peaceful democratic protesters being treated like terrorists does not affect us. Nobody actually comes out and gives a shit.
Our esteemed external affairs minister, Pranab Mukhrjee, has released the following statement:
In response to a question on Tibetans in India protesting against the violence in Tibet, the spokesperson of the ministry said, ''Tibetan refugees, while in India, are expected to refrain from political activities and activities that affect India's relations with friendly countries."Yes, Mr minister. Thank you for your words. I am so glad we are friends with China. Maybe that is why China is supporting us for the nuclear deal. Uh-oh, it's not? Aright, at least it's dropped it's claim to the state of Arunachal Pradesh? ....No? It's still lays claim to it? Do i hear you correctly Mr, Minister? And what about Aksai Chin in Kashmir. They want to return it to us, but we are not taking it back from them right? Awwwww ... So sweet ... What's a few states between friends. And they have stopped playing with Pakistan and started playing with us? No? You say that they are Pakistan's BFF? I agree, how can you separate Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritche? They belong together don't they? I mean so what if they are helping Pakistan develop the ability to nuke us. At least we get to play with them on Fridays, when Pakistan is praying? I am so glad that you cleared that up for me Mr Minister. Whew!! Those damn Tibetans should just have a nice warm cup of shut the fuck up. And they can sit right next to Tasleema Nasreen's table.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
All hail the Queen
So I was having a nice morning, enjoying the morning weather while havin my cuppa then I did something really stupid. I picked up the Times of India to see what's up with the world. Needless to say this was a very bad decision. I was blatantly reminded of the reason I do not read that paper.
The front page article was dedicated to Sonia Gandhi ten years as head of the congress party. The tone of the article was overflowing with idol worship and sycophancy. I thought the duty of the press was to present the facts, not distort the truth to bow down to the government of the day. However, even though our country claims to have freedom of speech and claims to be a democracy, the guardians of our freedom (i.e. the press) keeps surprising me with the sycophancy and irrelevance of their reporting.
Instead of starting a debate on certain national issue the newspapers and TV channels pedal one agenda or the other. And the weekly magazines are no better either. I was a subscriber of Outlook and was really angered the way the editor furthered the Congress agenda. Now, I am not dissing outlook, I think their editor is a good journalist and at least discloses in every alternate issue that he is a die-hard congressman. I am also not implying that people shouldn't have a personal political view. My problem is that when an organization which is supposed to be the watchdog of freedom blatantly bows down to one agenda or the other, democracy is in trouble. However, I feel that we never actually had democracy in India. The elected officials are not a representation of the people, rather they are a representation of might. The more thugs they have, the more seats they have. However, that is another topic for another post.
My problem with the Congress party is the extreme level of sycophancy present in that party. I don't beleive that anybody born with the name Gandhi has a right to rule the country. I have no problem with Sonia Gandhi's foreign origin. She could be from Timbuktu for all I care. My problem is just because she married into the Gandhi family, does not give her a right to run the country.
If being the wife of a former prime minister qualifies her for the post, then a brain surgeon's wife can operate on your brain. And please, don't compare this situation to Hillary because (a) Hillary is a politician in her own right (b) She actually is qualified.
She might have rejected the PM's post but that was a political masterstroke. We all know that she is the one actually running the government. Manmohan Singh is keeping the seat warm for Rahul. And if someone says that Manmohan Singh is a PM in his own right well then I have to say, put down the crystal meth. Mr PM has to send memo's to his own ministers to keep him in the loop whilst taking important policy decisions.
It is time that the people of our country learnt that just having a famous last name does not automatically give one the birthright to run the country. There are more qualified and capable people than Rahul Gandhi. There maybe some in the Congress too. I don't endorse any party, I think all parties are scum. However, there are some bright spots. The sad thing is that they would never get an opportunity to run the country because they were not born as a Gandhi. At least in bollywood your surname can only guarantee a good launch. After that you are on your own.
Maybe, someday, when a Gandhi dumber than George Bush comes along, we might elect someone else. Or maybe not. India still might vote for a Gandhi. They aren't' the first family for nothing, are they?
The front page article was dedicated to Sonia Gandhi ten years as head of the congress party. The tone of the article was overflowing with idol worship and sycophancy. I thought the duty of the press was to present the facts, not distort the truth to bow down to the government of the day. However, even though our country claims to have freedom of speech and claims to be a democracy, the guardians of our freedom (i.e. the press) keeps surprising me with the sycophancy and irrelevance of their reporting.
Instead of starting a debate on certain national issue the newspapers and TV channels pedal one agenda or the other. And the weekly magazines are no better either. I was a subscriber of Outlook and was really angered the way the editor furthered the Congress agenda. Now, I am not dissing outlook, I think their editor is a good journalist and at least discloses in every alternate issue that he is a die-hard congressman. I am also not implying that people shouldn't have a personal political view. My problem is that when an organization which is supposed to be the watchdog of freedom blatantly bows down to one agenda or the other, democracy is in trouble. However, I feel that we never actually had democracy in India. The elected officials are not a representation of the people, rather they are a representation of might. The more thugs they have, the more seats they have. However, that is another topic for another post.
My problem with the Congress party is the extreme level of sycophancy present in that party. I don't beleive that anybody born with the name Gandhi has a right to rule the country. I have no problem with Sonia Gandhi's foreign origin. She could be from Timbuktu for all I care. My problem is just because she married into the Gandhi family, does not give her a right to run the country.
If being the wife of a former prime minister qualifies her for the post, then a brain surgeon's wife can operate on your brain. And please, don't compare this situation to Hillary because (a) Hillary is a politician in her own right (b) She actually is qualified.
She might have rejected the PM's post but that was a political masterstroke. We all know that she is the one actually running the government. Manmohan Singh is keeping the seat warm for Rahul. And if someone says that Manmohan Singh is a PM in his own right well then I have to say, put down the crystal meth. Mr PM has to send memo's to his own ministers to keep him in the loop whilst taking important policy decisions.
It is time that the people of our country learnt that just having a famous last name does not automatically give one the birthright to run the country. There are more qualified and capable people than Rahul Gandhi. There maybe some in the Congress too. I don't endorse any party, I think all parties are scum. However, there are some bright spots. The sad thing is that they would never get an opportunity to run the country because they were not born as a Gandhi. At least in bollywood your surname can only guarantee a good launch. After that you are on your own.
Maybe, someday, when a Gandhi dumber than George Bush comes along, we might elect someone else. Or maybe not. India still might vote for a Gandhi. They aren't' the first family for nothing, are they?
Friday, March 14, 2008
Loose Ends
So I saw this add for hiring investment managers from a particular company. The brand ambassador? Anupam Kher. That's so good. Because when I think investments, I think what would Dr. Dang do?
The only product which I don't mind being endorsed by an on screen villain? Condoms by Gulshan Grover. That would be so believable. If it works for him, it's fuckin bound to work for me.
This whole thing with the Indians in Leichester trying to put Gandhi's statue in the city square? Really? This proves that no matter where they go, Indians have too much time on their hands.
The so called security lapse on Heathrow yesterday proved one thing, that the management of the Heathrow airport has been outsourced to the Indian government.
The only product which I don't mind being endorsed by an on screen villain? Condoms by Gulshan Grover. That would be so believable. If it works for him, it's fuckin bound to work for me.
******
This whole thing with the Indians in Leichester trying to put Gandhi's statue in the city square? Really? This proves that no matter where they go, Indians have too much time on their hands.
******
The so called security lapse on Heathrow yesterday proved one thing, that the management of the Heathrow airport has been outsourced to the Indian government.
******
Hooray!! The new season of ICL has started. Really? You didn't know that did you now? The ICL is like Bhutan. Everybody knows it's out there, but nobody gives a shit.
Hooray!! The new season of ICL has started. Really? You didn't know that did you now? The ICL is like Bhutan. Everybody knows it's out there, but nobody gives a shit.
******
So NY Governor Elliot Spitzer resigned because he got caught with a prostitute. Wow. He dug himself into such a hole.
But he got support from unexpected quaters. Senator Larry Craig. The senator released a statement declaring his support for the governer. He said that "I am behind the governor in his time of need."
Spitzer was supposed to be one of the candidates for Vice President if Hillary won the nomination. I think he took the "When in Washington, do as the Clintons do" thing very seriously.
Well, he might have lost his post as governor, but Bill just made him an honorary Clinton.
But the thing is, Elliot Spitzer did nothing different. I mean politicians have been screwing up in Washington for ages. He just got caught.
But he got support from unexpected quaters. Senator Larry Craig. The senator released a statement declaring his support for the governer. He said that "I am behind the governor in his time of need."
Spitzer was supposed to be one of the candidates for Vice President if Hillary won the nomination. I think he took the "When in Washington, do as the Clintons do" thing very seriously.
Well, he might have lost his post as governor, but Bill just made him an honorary Clinton.
But the thing is, Elliot Spitzer did nothing different. I mean politicians have been screwing up in Washington for ages. He just got caught.
******
Aamir Khan has been on such a power trip lately. First Amitabh Bachan. Now Shah Rukh Khan. Someone should get Aamir zammen par.
******
Today is world kidney day, or as Dr. Amit calls it, Monday.
******
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
The great Indian demographic: Part 1
The Indian demographic can be really hard to understand sometimes. So here is an attempt by the author to help people understand the mind of the Indian 20-30 year olds.
BumBhai
Male. Does not shave the stubble. Wears a brown vest in place of a t-shirt. The jeans are old and tattered. Wears a black dhaga with a photo of Ganesh/Kali Maa. Has not held a steady job all his life. Went to government school. Failed 5th grade 6 times or stopped going to school after class 8th. In some cases, not gone to school at all.
Participates in Ganesh Chaturthi, drinks bhang on holi, attends political rallies for Shiv Sena/MNS. Thinks he is God’s gift to women. According to him, the only way to pato a girl is to insult her in public. Loves Mailka Sherawat but wants to marry someone like Tulsi. Ends up marrying a Christain nurse from Kerela.
Music: Rangeela, Satya, Yuva
Female. Family originally from small town/village. Now living in the big city. Very strict family. Cannot even think about boys. Is convinced that sex is for the devil. Does not know how children are born even at the age of 25. Believes that reading cosmopolitan and watching the bold and the beautiful is amoral and only for bad girls. Reads cosmopolitan and watches the bold and the beautiful when her parents are out to visit relatives. Other wise only has grahshobha on her shelf. Shares room with other 3 sisters. Wants to marry Dev Anand/Raj Kapur/Suniel Shetty. Big fan of Indian Idol and K serials. Knows the BhagvadGita by heart.
Has not spoken to a guy all her life. First time she speaks to her husband is at the suhagraat when she asks him to sleep on the sofa. Is married of straight after school or the first day of college. Does not let her husband touch her breasts for the first few years of marrige. Has a child before her first anniversary. Believes that pati is parmeshwar.
Ends up making her daughter an exact clone of herself.
Music: Jai Santoshi Maa, Jagit Singh Bhajans, Yash Raj Music
Punjabi Phiter
Music: Gurdas Mann, Jazzy B, Daler Mehndi, Juggy D, Mika
The Medha Phar-kar
Will have enough income left by her dad and dead aunt to be able to work in an NGO. After the age of 40, will then move into a summer house in Kasauli/Mussori/Simla. President of the Shabana Aazmi fan club. Will go no on news channels and get hysterical in a discussion with the BJP spokesperson about the plight of female frogs in
TV: Rajini
Music: Abba, Queen, Lajja, Fire
The Hip Hop Hommie
Will technically remain a virgin till marriage.
The wannabe Rock-Roadie
Female. Paints nails black. Streaked the tips of her hair red which she thinks is cool but because of which her dad does not talk to her for a year. Only make up she wears is a black eyeliner. Believes it’s cool to talk about sex. Has a poster of Keith Cobain in her room. Wants a subscription to Rolling Stone for her next birthday. Attends all Pink Floyd / Eagles reunion shows inWill have a crush on the lead singer of the school band. Will dump him after the second date. Has more guy friends then girlfriends. Is one of the boys. Other girls are jealous of her because all the guys want her. Is called a “slut” behind her back. Can kick the BumBhai’s ass. Ends up with a younger guy who lives of her salary. Hates people who like Bryan Adams.
Music: Eagles, AC/DC, Pink Floyd
Saturday, March 8, 2008
New Rules
The Indian version of New Rules:
People must stop protesting for every movie that releases. If you don't like a movie, don't go and see it. Our country is supposed to be a democracy. Give people some kind of freedom. And the thing is, your protest doesn't really impact the movie because it helps to keep it in the news. When a movie is being made, the people involved do not think "How the fuck can I offend more people?". Stop protesting and get a job.
Indian news channels must show actual news. Bollywood people doing each other is not breaking news. Clips from stupid reality shows is not news. If I wanted to watch crap like that, I would stick to doordarshan.
Singing competitions must stop making new singer overnight. Don't Shaan and Sonu Nigam have enough backup singers already. And the thing is, it doesn't really create singers. The winners usually end up hosting a singing show on the same/rival channel.
Can the stupid left parties shut up and let us sign the nuclear deal? Can they stop thinking about not pissing China off? China already has Indian territory illegally in Kashmir and wants the state of Arunachal Pradesh. And they also make poisonous pet food. And they are already pissed of at us for inventing chicken Manchurian. So Shut Up.
Political Parties have to stop hyperventilating on Valentines day every year. So people want to give each other candy. I mean, having processed fats is against Indian culture? Please. Am I the only one who has Bengali sweets?
Today's drinking game: A tequila shot every time Mayawati uses the word 'caste'.
Lastly, we get the government we vote for. So stop casting votes for Indian Idol and go out and vote for the government. Otherwise stop bitching.
People must stop protesting for every movie that releases. If you don't like a movie, don't go and see it. Our country is supposed to be a democracy. Give people some kind of freedom. And the thing is, your protest doesn't really impact the movie because it helps to keep it in the news. When a movie is being made, the people involved do not think "How the fuck can I offend more people?". Stop protesting and get a job.
Indian news channels must show actual news. Bollywood people doing each other is not breaking news. Clips from stupid reality shows is not news. If I wanted to watch crap like that, I would stick to doordarshan.
Singing competitions must stop making new singer overnight. Don't Shaan and Sonu Nigam have enough backup singers already. And the thing is, it doesn't really create singers. The winners usually end up hosting a singing show on the same/rival channel.
Can the stupid left parties shut up and let us sign the nuclear deal? Can they stop thinking about not pissing China off? China already has Indian territory illegally in Kashmir and wants the state of Arunachal Pradesh. And they also make poisonous pet food. And they are already pissed of at us for inventing chicken Manchurian. So Shut Up.
Political Parties have to stop hyperventilating on Valentines day every year. So people want to give each other candy. I mean, having processed fats is against Indian culture? Please. Am I the only one who has Bengali sweets?
Today's drinking game: A tequila shot every time Mayawati uses the word 'caste'.
Lastly, we get the government we vote for. So stop casting votes for Indian Idol and go out and vote for the government. Otherwise stop bitching.
Reflection on Life
Sometimes, life can seem pointless like a John McCain presidential run, or appear empty like a Ralph Nader rally.
Sometimes, life can be as sinister as Dick Cheney and hand you a lot of lemons like the George Bush presidency.
Sometimes the superdelegates of your life can make decisions that are not what you really wanted.
Sometimes tough decisions in life make you faint like you were at an Obama rally. But through all the smoke, fire and brimstone, we need to learn to rise like Hillary just when everyone counts you out.
Sometimes life can take you away from reality just like Mike Hukabee.
We can sometimes fail miserably in life just like the Rudy Guliani campaign, we must not forget that sometimes life lends us a hand like Jeb Bush in 2000 and we can still manage to come out of a pile of shit smelling like roses, ala Al Gore.
Whatever turn life takes, we can stop the fat lady of life singing for us by cockblocking her like Bill Clinton.
We should never forget that sometimes, we need to put the greater good over personal ambition like Mitt Romney.
Even though life can be confusing like a Fred Thomson speech, and you can do all the good you want, the fact remains that people will only remember you for all your ridiculousness like a $400 haircut.
Lastly, we should not lose heart and remember the fact that if Dennis Kucinich can find someone, so can we.
Sometimes, life can be as sinister as Dick Cheney and hand you a lot of lemons like the George Bush presidency.
Sometimes the superdelegates of your life can make decisions that are not what you really wanted.
Sometimes tough decisions in life make you faint like you were at an Obama rally. But through all the smoke, fire and brimstone, we need to learn to rise like Hillary just when everyone counts you out.
Sometimes life can take you away from reality just like Mike Hukabee.
We can sometimes fail miserably in life just like the Rudy Guliani campaign, we must not forget that sometimes life lends us a hand like Jeb Bush in 2000 and we can still manage to come out of a pile of shit smelling like roses, ala Al Gore.
Whatever turn life takes, we can stop the fat lady of life singing for us by cockblocking her like Bill Clinton.
We should never forget that sometimes, we need to put the greater good over personal ambition like Mitt Romney.
Even though life can be confusing like a Fred Thomson speech, and you can do all the good you want, the fact remains that people will only remember you for all your ridiculousness like a $400 haircut.
Lastly, we should not lose heart and remember the fact that if Dennis Kucinich can find someone, so can we.
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