India's road to perdition

Only in India do the left and the right vote together.

It's open season and anything goes. All those people who talk about ideology are talking about something that doesn't exist in Indian politics. It's not about secularism or about patriotism or about capitalism or about communism. It's all about you-scratch-my-back-I'll-scratch-yours. After all, money hai to honey hai.

The BJP whose government participated in the initial draft and discussions of the deal are now going to vote against it.

The SP is now supporting a party which it was vehemently opposing till a few weeks ago.

The BSP is now the main opposition party. It's leader is now a frontrunner for the post of the Prime Minister of India.

Mr Deve Gowda interrupted his sleep to finally settle scores with the Congress.

The left is so out of touch with the country's interest that it's ready to do anything.

Mr Somnath Chaterjee is trying to bring a facade of neutrality to the speaker's post.

It's early Christmas for Mr Soren who has received a slew of gifts from Santa Claus himself.

Meanwhile, the so called aam aadmi doesn't really give a rat's ass.

So who's watching the country?

Must See TV

Ladies and Gentlemen, as you all are aware, we excel in Investigative Reporting. So, to satisfy your curiosity, thanks to our "sources" we are able to present to you the new and upcoming shows to hit your TV screen this fall.


How I met your Mother
A new series where Kabir Bedi narrates tales and various anecdotes to his 1500 children explaining to them how he met, married, humped and then proceeded to divorce their mothers. For the budding horny, creepy old man in all of us.

Kashmir Mafia
Starring President Mussharaf , the Pakistani army and the ISI. According to some focus groups, this show is M*A*S*H meets The Silence of the Lambs meets The great dictator. In fact, sources have quoted that the head of the Taliban has said that the show is "laugh-out-loud and is as fun as playing football with the head of an infidel".

The adventures of Judge Javed
This will be a first of it's kind travel-talent show commissioned by National Geographic. Presented by Javed Akhtar, who travels from city to city, showcasing the talent of people from various walks of life. The people featured in the show are then "judged" and awarded points by Javed Akhtar, which causes most of them to feel humiliated and break into tears of despair & sadness and in some cases, attempt suicide. To add a bit of zing to those long, boring weekends.

The Navjot Singh Sidhu Chat Express
Hosted by the the irrepressible Navjot Singh Sidhu, this half hour talk show will feature Navjot Singh Sidhu and his permanent guest on the show, Navjot Singh Sidhu. This one-man show includes Sidhu asking questions about various subjects and then answering them with completely unrelated quotes & couplets. This show not only provides you with profound wisdom, it will also hit you with 2723189698087989 new metaphors, smilies and analogies every 10 seconds. Needless to say, this show will not feature any commercial breaks.

The art of Un-fashion
Hosted by Viday Balan, the show dispenses fashion advice to up and coming wannabe starlets. It's educative segments include How to dress like a female Orangutan, Does this halter top go with my Dad's kurta-pyajama salwar and Gucci-Schmucci; I do all my shopping at Linking Road and Janpath.

How to compensate for a lack of a career with a continues series of bad haircuts
A new reality show hosted by Vivek Oberoi, in which people who are really bad at their job and have no future in their chosen career path vie with each other for a "free-haircut" coupon with lifetime validity at Vivek Oberoi's roadside barber.

RGV ki Sholay jo Aag se Badhkay
A "making of" show which provides a behind-the-scenes look at each new re-make of Sholay Ram Gopal Varma produces and directs.

The Ghost Whisperer
Starring President Pratibha Patil. In this show, the commander-in-chief of our armed forces provides us with the wisdom of the ages imparted to her by God himself in those one-on-one sessions he used to have with her before she became President. Holy **** batman!!

Which Religious Zealot are you?
A game show hosted by Narendra Modi, in which contestants answer questions about their religious beliefs and based on their answers are provided with one of the following three awards: (1) The Osama Bin Laden death-to-all-infidels award,
(2) The Bal Thackrey Who moved my temple? award and
(3) The Mike Hukabee Preach like you're batshit crazy award.
The winner of the show gets to meet either of these three icons.
** Please note that in case the winner gets the 1st award, he/she can only talk to his idol via tele-conference for which he needs to go to the Pakistani embassy or consulate.

How to write like a Chinese Mime
Hosted by Shobha De, the show provides tips to budding writers on how to write completely over-the-top, disgusting, filled with cheap thrills, crappy books which no one reads and newspaper columns which talk about path-breaking issues like the pleats on Aishwariya Bachchan's dress and page 3 celebrity her jam-toast looks like. (Clearly the author of this blog appears to be a big fan of this show.)

The Poppadum Show
A new game show commissioned by UK's Channel 4, hosted by Jade Goody. The show is only open to South-Asian contestants, preferably from India. The winner gets to be called a racial slur by Goody, which makes the winner an instant celebrity in Britain and helps him/her land a book deal, release a do-it-yourself yoga DVD and is granted an audience with the Queen.

Free Speech my ass: Which community does your work of art offend?
In this show, a focus group of members from each of the 89021651289752189037512098570912 special interest groups in India view books, films and paintings to determine which particular facet of that work of art is offensive to them. Points are awarded in the following categories (a) the most original idea to destroy the work of art (b) the most unique attack on the producer of the work of art and (c) the most ridiculous court case. The prize money is awarded to the community which scores the maximum on two out of the three categories. The contest is judged by Mayawati Devi, people who objected to Jodha Akbar and Sitaram Yechury.

History is waiting . . .

“To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.”



“The price of greatness is responsibility.”



“History will be kind to me for I intend to write it”




No, the above quotes are not by Dr Singh, they are for him.

The time has come for the Government of India to take the final call on the Indo-US nuclear deal.

It's time for our Prime Minister to finally prove his mettle.

What will it be, good doctor?

Will you choose the path of least resistance and squander a historic opportunity for the sake of being in power for a insignificant few more months?

Will you choose to become a national hero, cheered for his vision and respected for his contribution to the India success story or do you choose to be mocked as a man responsible for India's loss of face in the international community?

Do you want to be remembered as a Prime Minister with an enduring legacy or as a Prime Minister who is known as the Bahadur Shah Zafar of the 21st century?

History is ruthless, Mr Prime Minister. It does not give anyone a second chance. This is the act that will define your career. Any other contribution made by you in your entire earlier career will be eclipsed by how you choose to act on the nuclear deal.

It's in you hands, how you choose to be remembered as. With great power, comes great responsibility. The choice you make will affect the lives of all your billion plus countrymen.
Will you choose to take the country forward into the new century or will you plunge it into darkness?

The choice is clear, Dr Singh. All you need to do is stand up for what you beleive in. All you need to do is not cower down to elements opposed to the deal because of flimsy reasons, elements whose logic is far beyond any reality, elements who would sacrifice the good of the country for short term personal gain.

Do what is necessary. Make nice with all your political enemies. It doesn't matter. We will forgive you for all that. After all, in politics there are no permanent friends or enemies.

Sign the deal and we will stand up and applaud you.

Sign the deal and you become the toast of the nation. You get more coverage than the entire bachchan clan.

Sign the deal and we will even try to forget the past four years.

However, if you don't sign the deal, history will label you as the most spineless prime minister ever.

Future generations will remember you not as the man who had a part to play in the development of our country, but as just another politician whose loyalty lay elsewhere.

Dr Singh, remember your oath. Country, People, God, Party. Remember it.

Also remember, that history is ruthless. It does not forgive. Nor does it forget.

Weird Wednesday

"The nuclear deal is anti-Muslim"

- Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister, Ms. Mayawati

Alright. Even if I suspend all logic, rationality and smoke enough pot to kill a 100 people, I still don't get it. How can a deal which promises to decrease the helplessness of Indian consumers by helping the country generate more power be anti any religion?

Hell, even Senator Larry Craig's claim of having a wide stance is more believable than this.

"BJP offered PM post to Mulayam in '07"

- SP General Secretary, Mr. Amar Singh

The BJP response: ROTFL, LMAO

Chatwal to raise $10 million for Obama

- Rediff.com article

Really? No word yet from Sanjaya Malakar. Dammit.

Indian Americans Take Note of Obama, Thanks to Hanuman

- Washington Post Article

Have we become this shallow? A person keeps a miniature Hanuman as a souvenir and we go ga-ga over him?

So people actually think "I don't care what his policies or plans are ..... look he has a Hanuman in his pocket. I'm sold. Obama for Pres."

Based on how much money Obama's campaign has collected, he seems to be a follower of Goddess Laxmi!!

Just another Flip-flopper

Cartoon Copyright © 2008 Creators Syndicate



Yes, everyone thought that he was the messiah of change. That he was "different". However, as I've always said, he's just another politician.

People drank the whole Obama Kool Aid which promised them real change and a different kind of politics.

Some people likened him to JFK and some even alluded to the second coming of Jesus.

Hell, journalists in India asked where India's version of Obama is. (To answer that, every other politician who gives great speeches and does not do anything for five years or whatever term of office they are able to buy or bully into.)

Now that the primaries are over, it is time for the real Barack Obama to please stand up.

Mr. Change-the-world has not only flip-flopped on campaign finance, but to woo Christian evangelists is now ready to expand the Bush administration's faith based programs (source: Newsmax, click here).

Also, he's still "not there" on Gay marriage. Pray tell, what's to "be there" about.
Though to be fair, he does support repealing of Don't ask, Don't tell and DOMA.

The fact is, that to be successful, leaders have to be pander to the majority and different interests groups. If politicians start speaking the truth, and do not pander to any major public base, they become as insignificant as Ralph Nader. (Just using him as an example. I ain't a fan.)

A theory goes that 97% of the people in the world want to be lead, want a leader to look upto.

I do agree with that to some extent. That is one of the reason people flock to leaders who are good orators and tell them what they want to hear. People want to be given hope that their problems will be over someday and shown the light at the end of the tunnel like a carrot is dangled in front of a horse.

Good politicians also invent pseudo-truths which if said out loud and a number of times, turn into fact. *Cough* George W Bush *Cough*

However, I still think that Obama is a much better choice for President than great-grandpa McCain. For one, he knows how to work a computer.

For Obama, being a flip-flopper does not make him unfit for president. He's just doing what great leaders have done for centuries. Pandering to the population.

The moral of the story is, that the next time a politician comes knockin and promises to be different and bring about a change or do things differently, don't drink the Kool Aid without at least thinking about it first.

p.s. There is this really interesting article by David Brooks in the NYT called The Two Obamas (click here)

Top 10 Surprises in the Modern Mahabharata

10. Sanjay uses his psychic power to help the blind king, Dhritarashtra, earn money by betting on IPL matches
9. Feeling left out and ignored by everybody, Nakul and Sehdev, write and produce an autobiographical movie titled The Excellent Adventures of Nakul & Sehdev
8. Bhim quits the army and opens an amusement theme park called Bhim's House of Blood
7. Shahrukh Khan makes a special appearance as the King of Bollywoodumprastha to do an item song called "Dard-e-Duryodhan"
6. President of the Hastinapur Human Rights Commission calls a press conference and says that Draupadi practically asked for the cheer haran by dressing too provocatively
5. Yudhistar gets a shot in the arm for his campaign to be king when he is endorsed by Oprah
4. To placate the MNS, 80% of the characters speak in Marathi
3. Abhimanyu finally breaks the Chakrahvyu by reading about it on Wikipedia via his blackberry
2. Instead of having the Mahabharata battle, the Pandavs and Kauravs decide to face off in a reality show judged by Javed Akhtar and Navjot Singh Sidhu called "The Great Indian Slaughter Challenge"
1. Bhishma dishes the dirt about everybody on his Blog on bigkurukshetra.com called "Confessions of a Pissed off Pitahmah"

All the news that's fit to print

The Indian media is going ga-ga over the impending deal between Steven Speilberg and Anil Ambani.

I just pray that there is no bollywood remake of Temple of Doom with Amitabh Bachchan playing the role of Indiana Jones.

The dispute between the Rajasthan Government and the Gujjars has been settled.

That's the good news. The Bad News: 1 down, 4312610987060 more castes to go.

Shiv Sena supremo wants to start Hindu suicide squads.

Yes, because that's the answer to terrorism. More terrorism. Even George Bush is like "Dude . . "

The left parties have made it clear that they will unseat the government if it goes ahead with the Nuclear deal.

Apparently, the left wants to fulfill the promise in it's manifesto. To take our country back into the middle ages. Seriously, what would we do without them?

Have lesser power cuts?

Last week, an anchor on Fox News called a fist bump between Obama and his wife a terrorist fist jab. And Fox news affectionately refers to Barack's wife as his baby mama, a slang term used to describe single African-American mothers. The anchor was taken off their regular programming.

After being benched, the anchor will now enter rehab to deal with his obvious Afrophobia and after a few months, will be hired back and get the Don Imus deal.

The coalition government in Pakistan has begun discussions to fire President Musharraf. In fact, the state media has been barred from acknowledging Mushie at all.

Yes, it's true. Mussharaf is now looking beyond the Presidency. In fact, today, his new agent in Hollywood faxed his resume to the producers of 'Celebrity Apprentice'.

The ICC recently changed it's rules regarding one day internationals.

To which Ricky Ponting replied, "Change in rules? Haha!! That's cute!!"

Pamela Anderson has gotten back with ex-hubby Tommy Lee.

Yes, they are now officially the creepy Ross & Rachel. I guess they wanted to film a sequel to their original video. Porn fans everywhere are already cleaning their hard drive. As they say, 50th time's a charm.

Overated Owards

Since the awards season is upon us, we at Overated Outcast thought that we would also give out some awards of our own. Around here we call them "owards". So ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first edition of the Overated Owards. The lucky weiners winners are:


for the Can you check a dictionary to find out what the word NEWS actually means? oward: The Indian News Channels

for the Why in the blue hell does she still have a job? oward: Urmila Matondkar

for the OMFG I'm Brown oward: Shilpa Shetty

for the Honey, for the love of humanity, get a stylist, please oward: Vidya Balan

for the Ask not what you can do for your country but what you can do for China oward: The Indian left

for the I'll go anywhere, anytime for bucketloads of money, Hell I'll even jump out of your daughter's birthday cake oward: Shahrukh Khan

for the Best Employee of the month, every month for the past four years oward: PM Manmohan Singh

for the .. And what does an editor do, exactly? oward: Times of India

for the Showcasing Mindblowingly non-Talented people everyday oward: Indian Reality Shows

for the Me Casa, Su Casa, Marathi Casa oward: The MNS & Shiv Sena

for the Can you look to the left while we illegally occupy some strategic parts of your territory? oward: China

for the You mean to say that there are rules to play this game? oward: Ricky Ponting

for the Old? Who? Me?? Never ... I'm still young and angry .. Haven't you read my blog? oward: Amitabh Bachchan

for the I'm the best actor ever, yet I'm so petty, Oh so petty; God I hate Shahrukh oward: Aamir Khan

for the Gigli oward: Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor

for the Isn't it time to hit the want adds? oward: Jimmy Shergill

for the Sycophantus Maximus oward: Arjun Singh

for the Rip Van Winkle oward: Deve Gowda

for the Look Ma I'm on TV oward: Shatrugan Sinha

for the We get it.... You love metaphors and smilies... Stop it now! STOP IT!! NO SERIOUSLY .... STOPPPP ITTTTTT!!!! oward: Navjot Singh Sidhu

for the What? We live in a democracy ... You must be kidding us oward: The Indian Public

for the This blog is lame oward: OverRated Outcast